I sit back and hold him for awhile. Music plays from the other room, and I let it calm my spirit. My spirit, that was filled with annoyance a few hours ago. Many times my brain wishes for these days of tantrum toddler and tiny baby to pass. My brain says that things will be easier when I just get through this stage. That the stress will be less in the years to come. (Which I doubt is true!)
But my heart says wait. My heart says love. My heart says to enjoy these fleeting days that are so quickly passing. Sure the house is dirty, sure the dishes need to be done, but the babe sleeping on my lap right now is more important. My brain tells me to lay him down. Put him in his room. My heart says, keep holding on to his tiny frame. Watch his tiny chest rise and fall, admire his dark eyelashes. Soak up the moments. 2 AM won't belong to you and him much longer. Soon, he'll chase after his sister all day, searching for bugs, or laying tummy side down in the grass, nose deep in a new novel. And those moments, you will also enjoy. But not today. Today he's your baby and she's your toddler. They need you so much to grow up bright and true.
And her, crazy toddler that talks a mile a minute, so inquisitive about this world. She may seem annoying when she hangs on you, but she only wants affection. Independence will come too soon, and then you'll miss those cuddles. You'll miss those days nursing one babe while other sits nearby, own baby doll in hand, imitating your every move. When you want to push crazy toddler away, draw her a little closer. Come down into her life. Discipline, yes, but also smoother with love, affection, security, patience. Patience when you're at your end. When you wish you could go back to sleep, sheet pulled over your head.
That's when you pray for patience.
The brain may say one thing, but the heart is so much more reliable. Through our heart, through our spirit speaks Jesus.
"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious or boils over with jealousy, is not boastfull or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.... Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]" (1 Corinthians 13: 4,7, Amplified).
May you speak Jesus into your childrens' lives today, may your husband know how much you care, may your cherished ones be blessed. And when you have the choice, pull them a little closer