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Blog

Filtering by Tag: Flexibility

TDY

Meg

I’ll admit it here and now, I’m not a fan of TDYs, (temporary duty assignments). They’re often last minute and throw all of our plans out of whack. Just the same, I recognize that they’re just one more way that I have to learn to be more flexible and supportive as a military wife.

It’s tough at times being home alone, managing the household finances, and keeping life rolling while my husband is away. I miss his company, his voice, and even his smelly clothes while he’ away. Just the same, I’ve found reasons to be the thankful for TDYs.

How can I be thankful, you ask? Because with TDYs my husband is more than likely still in the states and will be home in a matter of days or weeks, instead of the long months in a deployment. With TDYs I feel as if my husband is still relatively close by. If I really needed him, I could jump on a plane and be with him in a matter of hours. With TDYs my husband is just on a military business trip, relatively safe and sound and another military institution in the States. When I look at the scope of things, TDYs really aren’t that bad.

For me it’s all about support and flexibility. I can’t change when my husband is leaving or how long he’ll be gone. That’s completely out of my hands. What is up to me is my attitude. I can whine, complain and cry about him leaving. I can be miserable on the phone whenever he calls and make him not want to be home. Or I can be encouraging, kind, and uplifting, telling him time and again how much I miss him and love him. The second would make him want to come home all the quicker, wouldn’t it?

Who knows when my husband will be gone again, for today I chose to be the supporting, loving wife I know I can be, deep inside. I chose to act out the “Love Chapter” in 1 Corinthians 13. I encourage you to pry open your Bible today and read this special chapter. Then leave a comment and let me know what you got out of it. Loving and encouraging our husbands is a full time job, whether they’re next to us or in a completely different country.

Moment By Moment

Meg

Hello friends.
Can I admit something today? I’m awful at being flexible. I have plans, a list, and a schedule and I hate deviating from it.  The other night I had dinner on the table and found myself getting all bent out of shape when my husband was late getting home from work. It was a silly thing, nothing my husband really had any control over, but I found myself getting mad just the same.
I found myself at a decision point. I had a choice. Would I be the  “sweet wife” when my husband finally made it home or would I be “bitter wife” and make my husband think twice about ever late again.
I want my husband to love walking through the door each night, not having to wonder if I’m going to bite his head off or not. I want him to look forward to that moment he comes home and I give him a big hug and a peck on the cheek. I want him to look forward to those times. And so, I have to be flexible, even when I don’t want to be.
And so I picked “sweet wife,” choosing not to stay disgruntled but instead to keep dinner warm and wait patiently for him to walk through the door.
My attitude wasn’t completely fixed then though. For the rest of the evening those feelings of resentment kept poking up and I had to make a choice once again. Satan was having a heyday with my “flexibility issues” and trying over and over again to get me upset. It was seriously a battle filled evening of me continually having to turn back to the truths of God and reminding myself how much I loved my husband.
Do you ever have days like this? When you have to choose over and over again how you’re going to respond to a situation? Do you ever feel as if you are living life one breath at a time? Are there any areas where God is calling you to be more flexible?

Flexibility and Love

Meg

The Love Chapter, in 1 Corinthians 13, holds a special place in my heart. Not too long ago I spoke these words to my husband, as we stood in front of family and friends and pledged our lives to each other. I promised to love him this way, but I often fall short when it comes to this type of Godly love.
My selfish tendencies often overtake my desire to love my husband wholeheartedly. This problem is amplified when it comes to his career in the military. At times, I am anything but loving and supportive. I am anything but flexible.
I tried to look up the word “flexible” in the Bible, but nothing came up. And so, instead, I decided to look harder at 1 Corinthians 13. I found three phrases there that seem to correlate with the trait of flexibility:
These phrases tell us that love: “does not seek it’s own,” “endures all things,” “never fails” (NASB Version).
This is the kind of love I strive to have for myself.
But what do these above phrases mean?
Let’s delve a bit deeper and look at their original meaning the Greek.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance is my good friend when it comes to looking up the original meaning of the words. Here’s what I found for each of these phrases:

1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that Love “Does not seek it’s own.” The Greek word for “does not seek” is zēteo. So this phrase is telling us that Love does not crave, or demand something from someone.
Wow, this is a tough one. I know that I often make demands of my husband that he can’t fulfill because of his job. I want him to call me during the day, come home early just to be with me, and spend the entire weekend going places with me, entertaining my every whim. But this verse seems to be saying that true love doesn’t look like this. It seems to be saying that I shouldn’t demand things from my husband, but should instead focus on doing things for him.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that Love “endures all things.” I was so excited when I looked up these words. First, the Greek word for “endures” is hypomenō, which means to remain, to bear bravely and calmly. The word used for “all things” is pas which simply means “everything.”
True love remains through everything, good times and bad, times of deployment, and times of safety, times of stress and times of peace. True love goes through these times calmly, knowing that God will provide.
This isn’t easy, I’ll admit. At times, I am anything but calm. I stress, I worry, and I make like more difficult overall. God is slowly working on me when it comes to this sort of love. I know that I need to be flexible and love my husband through the tough times.
1 Corinthians 13:8 says that love “never fails.” The Greek word for “never” is oudepote which simply means never. The Greek word for “fails” is piptō which means to perish, i.e. come to an end, disappear, cease. In other words “never fails” means to never come to an end.
True love never ends. It always perseveres, through good times and bad. Our society today seems to believe that people fall in and out of love. God’s word tells us that agape love never ceases to exist.
My paraphrased version of theses three love above attributes is this:
Love does not crave or demand something from someone. It remains through everything. Love never comes to an end.
What does this mean to me? It means that I will need God’s help immensely in order to love my husband this way. I can’t do it on my own. If I tried, I would fail. But instead, I depend on God to see me through each day. I ask him to help me love my spouse, to help me remain constant through the touch times, and to put his needs before my own.
As I remain through those tough times, I ask God for flexibility. I ask him to give me a heart that can support my husband and whatever changes may come up in our day-to-day life. I don’t hold onto my own plans and goals too much, but instead, ask God to help me follow wherever my husband may lead.

Respect and Flexiblity?

Meg


I may not always like it, but our life together revolves around the military. I may not have chosen this life, but I chose the man, knowing very well what came with the package. I may not understand it, but this life in the military is part of my husband’s calling.
And so I respect the decision he makes, when he goes to work each morning.
I respect the dedication it takes to go work in the strict military environment.
I respect the place God has put us in this life.
I respect my husband’s career, even when I hate that it takes him away from me from time to time.
I respect the military, because I respect my husband.
I respect my husband because that is what Ephesians 5:33 calls me to do: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).
And what does respecting our husbands have to do with flexibility, you may be asking by now?
Everything.

I’m flexible because I understand and respect the changing environment of my husband’s job.
I’m flexible because I view the military as part of my husband’s calling.
I’m flexible out of my very love and respect for my husband and his career.
I’m flexible because God gives me the strength to face those tough days.
I’m flexible because I feel that God has called me to be a supportive military wife.


Is flexibility hard for you at times? What specific area do you need God’s help with today?

Lord, please help me to be more flexible when it comes to my husband’s career in the military. Help me to respect him and his calling.

Flexibility: susceptible of modification or adaptation

Meg

I am a planner. I love my lists, love having my life in order, and love knowing exactly when my husband will come home each night. If I could, I would have dinner hot and ready, waiting on the table when he walks in the door.
I tried that once. The meal was cold by the time my husband got home. I’m sure he wishes he could be home at the exact same time every night, but life in the military can be very unpredictable at times.
A month ago my husband answered his phone, and found out that he had been nominated to fill an empty spot overseas. He was deploying out of the blue, just like that. A few weeks later he went into work, only to find that his position over seas had been deleted. They no longer needed him. Just like that, he was no longer going. Who knows what he’ll find out today or tomorrow.
I’m starting to find that it’s not my place to be upset by these sudden changes. Yes, they may not line up with what I have planned, but I have to adapt just the same.
As I was thinking about adapting, I started to wonder what the Bible has to say on this subject.
Here are a few verses I found interesting:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:13-15 NIV).
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1 NIV).
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34 NIV).
I could go crazy thinking about what would happen if my husband deployed today, but instead I’ll just look forward to the nice evening we’ll have tonight, eating dinner, playing games, and just enjoying each other’s company. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
Only God knows what will happen tomorrow. We really have little control over what will transpire. So we shouldn’t spend each day worrying and stewing over what might happen, instead we should just praise God for the moments we have today.
In an unpredictable world, there’s only so much we can plan. Things happen everyday that our out of our control. It’s so wonderful to know that in this inconsistent world, we have a constant God:
“In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end” (Psalm 102:25-27 NIV).
God remains solid when the rest of the world tilts around us. So for today, I’ll hold onto the truth that he will be there, every day to help me through life’s twists and turns.

That thing called flexiblity

Meg

His war was canceled.
The bags were packed. The initial hysterical crying was done. We had prepared ourselves emotionally and mentally for this deployment. My husband had one day of work left. And then he found out. His tasking was canceled. He was no longer deploying. After a month of preparing, he had to return all of his gear and go back to work.
Our family and friends were elated. They cheered over the fact that my hubby would be around for Christmas this year. I feel bad admitting that my response was a little less enthusiastic.
I felt something closer to shock. For the first time, I was experiencing a thing called “flexibility.” This word is something I’m sure I’ll experience much of over the years.
My husband will be called upon again to fulfill his duty. It could be tomorrow; it could be three months from now. Whenever that is, I’m learning that I’ll have to be flexible and supportive. We may be throwing a party, about to leave on a trip, or planning for a baby, but he’ll have to leave just the same. Whenever he’s called up again, it won’t matter if “I” want him to go or not. Actually, it won’t even matter if he “wants” to go. The question will more likely be, “can” he go and fulfill this part of his job description, the part I’m sure no military family completely enjoys. The question is also how I’ll respond to such deployments.
I’m now starting to learn how much of a support and encourager I’ll have to be to my husband in future years. I’ll have to be the strength, holding together our home whenever he’s away.
I also know it will only be through the peace and strength of God that I’ll make it through such times.
I have so much to learn about life as a military wife. I hope you’ll stay with me on this journey. Over the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring life on the home front, and what it truly means to be a flexible, supportive military wife. Please feel free to share your insight, and any verses that you have clung to over the years. I always love to hear what you have to say.