Palm Branches

Sometimes I'm afraid to write. I'm afraid to be so transparent with the rest of the world. The internet is a big place. When I share something, I open up myself to a great big world out there. But if I don't share, then how will anyone know? How will anyone know about my Jesus? How will anyone know that it is HIM who strengthens me each and every day?

Sunday was Palm Sunday. The skies were blue, the weather was warm, and the message at church was just what I needed. It was a great reminder of Jesus, His rightful place as King, and the need, in all our hearts, to submit to His plans.

Sometimes I begin to think I know His plans. I track out in my mind exactly what the next five, ten, even fifteen years will look like. But God has been asking me lately if I trust him.

Do I truly trust Him with my husband’s job? I didn’t set out to be a military wife. I honestly didn’t think I’d live a thousand miles away from my family. But  I do. I didn’t think deployments would be a part of my life, but they are. Do I trust Him that this life is our calling? That we are here for a reason. That He will use this deployment to teach and strengthen us? That His good and perfect will is better than anything I could ever dream?

Yes Lord.

Yes, I trust you.

No, I don’t always understand. But, honestly, you never cease to amazing me. Your blessings are so plentiful, your good and perfect will, so complete.

So, yes, I trust you.

Yes, I give my dreams over to you today and every day.

Plant your desires within my heart (Psalm 37:4).

Today, and everyday, I submit to you. I lay my palm branches at your feet, because you are my King.

"They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, 'Hosanna!' 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!' 'Blessed is the king of Israel!'" (John 12:13, NIV).

The laying of the Palm branches was a sign of great respect. By laying them at Jesus' feet, the people were worshiping Him as the King of Kings. What palm branches could you lay at Jesus' feet today? What does this Easter week mean to you?

A Thought on Friendships

Words haven't been coming easily to me lately. I, honestly, don't know why. Perhaps its the toll of a deployment, dragging my shoulders down. Perhaps it's how busy little E and I have been, how tired I am at the end of the day. Or perhaps, it's the state of my heart.
I've been struggling with some awful things lately. Jealously. Resentment. Discord.

I was reminded tonight that those ugly things mentioned above cannot abide next to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. They just can't.

Relationships can't have both. They have to be one or the other.

I was about to say that I wished I was a child again, that relationships were so much easier back then. But even looking back, I can see the ups and downs in friendships. The silly fights. The jealousy. the bickering.

This world seems to be filled with things that divide.

I truly believe the devil would like nothing better than to see us all separated. To see all of us without a friend in the world.

Because together we're powerful.

Together we love each other with the love of Christ.

Together we rejoice in the beautiful moments of this life.

Together we relish the still, peaceful times.

Together we learn what true patience and gentleness are about.

Together we encourage each other to live with self-control.

Friends are great like that. They encourage us to live life to the fullest, and to seek after what's truly important in this life.

It's tempting to focus on the weaknesses. To focus on where people fall up short.

I've been awful guilty of that lately.

But, does that really solve anything?

What about love?

Is love the better answer, at the end of the day?

I think it just might be.

 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13, HCSB).

Letting Go of Fear

"I don't know how you do it," people tell me. "I just wouldn't be able to handle my husband being over there."

I've gotten comments like this quite a bit since my husbands been away.

In answer to them, yes, I'm afraid sometimes. Yes, I worry. But most of all, I have to trust.

I have to trust that God holds the keys to life and death in His hands. He, and He alone, knows the number of our days (See Psalm 139).

And so, I give my fears to Him, time and again, and let Him be in control.

Yes, it's hard having my husband gone. Yes, I miss him with every breath. But it's not as bad as you might think. For the most part, little E and I just live our every day lives. We've had playgroups, birthday parties, trips to the park, coffee dates, craft projects, and visits with family over the holidays. I can honestly say that, for the most part, these deployment months have flown by quickly. We stay busy, which helps. But, most of all, we cast all of our cares at the foot of the Cross, day after day. He and He alone gives us joy and peace each day.

Do you have any fears in your life, today? Anything you need prayer for? Leave them at the foot of the Cross, the peace you'll receive is indescribable.

^"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:15-16, NIV).

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

Spring

We've had spring-like weather here lately. These sun-shine filled days leave my heart happy and at peace. But then, another snowy day comes along, and I'm once again stuck back inside, glumly waiting for the cold weather to leave.

Spring is like that in these parts. It tests you. It teases you. It gives you a glimpse of something beautiful, but only for a moment.

Sometimes, it's hard for me to bare my soul to those around me. It's hard for me to be honest and say that my heart has been going through a Winter.

These last few months have been tough. They've been lonely. They're honestly months I just want to get past.

Like no other, I'm longing for Spring this year. I'm longing to see those first buds on trees, those first daffodils peaking through the grass. Because then, I hope, my soul will come out of hiding. Then, I hope, a season of happiness will be upon me.

Yes, there's been joy this winter. Yes, there's been peace. If I've learned anything this past Winter it's this: Christians go through hard times too. It's ok to admit that our lives are less than perfect. We struggle with sadness, we struggle with loneliness, just like the next person. The difference is that we have Someone to carry us through those times. We have God, who walks with us through the Winters of life.

So yes, I'm at peace today. Yes, I have a joy within my heart that passes understanding. And, yes, I'm looking forward to Spring.

In keeping with my Lent blog posts, my prayer focus for today continues to be for my friends. Today, specifically, it's for those who don't have Jesus as the ruler of their lives. My friends, He truly makes a difference during the Winters of our lives. I honestly don't know how I would have handled this deployment without Jesus by my side. My prayer, for you, is that you will reach out let Jesus carry you today and everyday. Trust me, it's worth the leap.

Fasting from Busyness

It’s easy to stay busy. There’s bills to pay, a house to clean, numerous errands and appointments to make. Friends to see. Church and squadron responsibilities.

Plus, when I’m busy, I can’t think about the loneliness. I can’t think about all that my husband is missing out on during this deployment season.

On Saturday morning I was thinking about this, as my daughter was cuddling up next to me on the couch. We had a busy day in front of us, one that would have us running around all afternoon and evening. But for the moment, all I had to do was cuddle my girl, read some books with her, and drink my morning cup of coffee. Out of our busy day, those moments were the sweetest to me. Those moments were the ones I treasured the most.

Busyness is catching. Busyness can keep us from doing what’s most important.

Before I know it, she’ll be too busy to cuddle with me much. Our days of a morning sippy with milk will be long gone.

It’s sometimes hard to treasure such moments, with so many things on my to-do-list, and the pressure of a temporary single-parent heavy on my shoulders.

But I love moments like this that remind me of my priorities.

I love moments when God reminds me what truly matters in this world.

My husband and my daughter mean more to me than any number of tasks or responsibilities.

So, if you come over to my house and see some dishes in the sink, and a pile of laundry waiting to be put away, don’t be surprised. I’ll get to them eventually.

But for that morning, I was cuddling the people I loved the most.

The Prayers of Friends

This Lent Season has a lot to do with prayer for me. I know the importance of prayer. I've seen it's effects, for the good, in my life. Yet, time and again, I forget how marvelous it can be.

There have been some very private times in my life. Times of immense hurt and grief. In those times, it's been my tendency to draw into myself self. I'm hurt from what other people said. I'm grieving over dreams that were shattered. I'm fearful of what other people will say, the judgments they'll hold over me.

I know that keeping my feelings to myself isn't always for the best. There are people around me that honestly care about me and what to hold me and my struggles up in prayer. Yet, I'm scared to share, scared to open myself up to the world at large.

A friend reminded me of the power of prayer recently. She mentioned that, by sharing, others were able to pray for her through a difficult time, and that she truly felt those prayers at work. She felt strong, at peace, and able to face the hard days in front of her.

I would love such a peace.

I would love to know that so many people were praying for me during a difficult time.

But to do that, I would have to open up. I would have to share my deepest struggles, knowing that some people might criticize, while others would pray with me every step through it.

It's a hard choice to make, this opening up.

But I'm starting to think that prayer is worth it.

Friendship is worth it.

Community is worth it.

What do you know about the power of prayer? Have you ever seen it at work in your own life? Who could you pray for today?

"The LORD will send His faithful love by day; His song will be with me in the night— a prayer to the God of my life" (Psalm 42:8, HCSB).

"Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert in this with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18, HCSB).

Fasting from Worry

She dances...

Last week was a hard one for me. At times, this deployment seems to have a dark cloud of stress and discouragement hanging over it. It seemed like, the more I tried to give this season of Lent over to God, the more I was attacked and discouraged.

But this weekend, things changed for the better. I did a good bit a praying, spent a good amount of time in scripture, and let go of some worries that were heavy on my heart.

And then, the light began to shine.

As the worry left my heart, peace began to seep in.

It started in the outer corners, and soon invaded even the deepest parts of me. Those deepest corners of my heart are the rockiest. Those crevices are where my deepest worries and hurts are stored.

But God once again took them over.

What a great feeling it is to be set free from those things!

I feel happy. Light. Tranquil.

 I feel as if I could dance.

Yes, I still go to my calendar and daily count down the days until my husband comes home. Yes, I still don’t exactly like this current reality.

But I’m starting to find joy in it once again.

I’m starting to see the good, instead of focusing on the bad.

I’m starting to see what a life free of worry could be like.

I’m dancing, just because I can.

Twirling around the room with my little girl, without a care in the world.

Because that’s how my little girl dances.

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever" (Psalm 30:11-12, NIV)

What do you need to let go of today? What can you fast from, during this season of Lent ?

A Time of Re-focusing

I'm off to find a quiet moment to pray this evening, my friends.

These last few days have been filled with anxiousness, and impatience. Sadly, my little girl gets the brunt of all this. I have some great friends that give me much needed breathers from time to time. Those times apart really help my frustrations, to an extent. But I know there's something deeper going on. There's pent up feelings and anxieties. Things that need to be discussed between me and my Savior. And so, I won't spend very long blogging with you this evening. Sometimes a little time of prayer is exactly what we need.

How is the Season of Lent going for you? Have you spent some much needed time with your Savior?

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed" (Mark 1:35, NIV).

Prayer for our Children

Lent: a time of fasting, prayer, and repentance as we look toward the Cross.

This military life isn't an easy one. It was hard enough saying goodbye to my parents, and moving half-way across the country. now that a child is involved, the vast amount of land separating me and my child-hood home is even worse. Military kids have it rough. But my husband and I decided, long ago, that we would make this a good life! That our daughter, and other future children, would grow up with a love for traveling, for adventure, and for family connections, even at a distance. A deployed parents makes things even tougher on a little one. They're not always at an age where they can understand the separation. It's confusing, thinking that their parent would leave them for months on end. It's up to us, the spouses at home, to teach our children about the honor, duty, and sacrifice involved in this special calling. It's up to us to teach them about God, and how He's the parent that will never leave our side. That He is the reason we can make it through times of deployment.

It's a tough life. But it's a good one. My prayer, today, is for all of the military children out there, my daughter being one of them. May you seek God's face at an early age. May you understand the true love of your Father up above, but also be able to comprehend deployments. May you see the great love your parents have for each other, and for you, even during times of separation. May you grow up loving life, adventure, and the great things the military has brought into your life. May others never view you as an "Air force Brat" or "Army Brat," but instead, look at you and go, wow, were they blessed!

 “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, HCSB)

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16b, NIV).

Prayer for our Troops

This seson of Lent came in with a whole bunch of worry. Worry is one of my greatest enemies, it seeps in, invades my every thought, and destroys many a peaceful moment. And so, I combat that worry with prayer. Prayer, that focuses my thoughts, not on myself, but on those around me. 

My prayer for the rest of this week is for our troops. Will you join me?

This world, this time in history, is a scarey one.

Battles are being waged.

Battles that, ultimately, only the Lord can fight.

How do we do it? How do we, as spouses, live for months on end, knowing that our loved ones are in harms way? We don't do it easily. We don't do it without reservation.

We do it only with a lot of prayer.

A lot of faith.

A lot of knowing that this life we live has never been our own.

And so, my prayer, for the rest of this week, is for the men and women fighting over seas.

Lord, protect them.

Lord, be a light in a very dark world.

Lord, be their strength. Their comfort.

Be their family, when they feel alone.

Be their light, whe there seems to be none.

Be their solace, when they're afriad.

Be their joy, even on dark days.

Be their refuge, their place to come to for comfort and strength.

Be their everything.

Psalm 91

¹ The one who lives under the protection of the Most High
dwells in the shadow of the Almighty.

 ² I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

 ³ He Himself will deliver you from the hunter’s net,
from the destructive plague.
⁴ He will cover you with His feathers;
you will take refuge under His wings.
His faithfulness will be a protective shield.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of the night,
the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ the plague that stalks in darkness,
or the pestilence that ravages at noon.
⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side
and ten thousand at your right hand,
the pestilence will not reach you.

 ¹⁴ Because he is lovingly devoted to Me,
I will deliver him;
I will protect him because he knows My name.
¹⁵ When he calls out to Me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble.
I will rescue him and give him honor.
¹⁶ I will satisfy him with a long life
and show him My salvation.

(HCSB)

The Season of Lent

Lent: The Christian observance of the liturgical year from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.

It came upon me unawares. I’ve been busy returning from a trip, running errands, and taking care of my little girl. Suddenly, I looked at the calendar and realized that today was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.

As a Protestant Christian, I haven’t always observed Lent. But, for some reason, I was drawn to this season this year. The Lenten Season, which falls between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday, is a time of fasting, prayer and repentance. It’s a time of focusing on Jesus Christ, and the great gift of life He’s given to all of us.

This year, I feel the need to fast. I feel the need to reconnect with my Savior during what has been one of the hardest seasons of my life. I need to hear His voice, feel His touch, be directed by His word.

My fast won’t be as much of a physical one as a mental one. It will be a fast from worry. A fast from feeling as if I have to carry the world on my own shoulders. I want these next few weeks of Lent to bring me closer to my Savior, farther down on my knees, my heart, refocused on everything that truly matters.

My aching heart needs this season of Lent.

My heart needs to know that Jesus still is in control of today and every day.

My heart needs the joy of Easter to come around once again. The reminder that Jesus came to this earth in human form, died on the cross for all of our sins, and rose victoriously on the third day, showing His ultimate mastery over life and death.

Will you join me on this Lenten Journey Towards Easter?