Reactions

Peppermint tea in a little cafe seemed like the perfect way to start this day. I sat there, trying to write this post, while drinking my hot tea and wrestling a wiggly baby on my lap. Often, Ezra decides to take a nap during my writing time. Today, I wasn't quite so lucky. He was wide awake, grinning at me, and trying to get into mistchief. I'm sure, before I'm even close to being ready, he'll be running full speed off my lap and after his big sister. He'll have to be fast and whitty to keep up with her, but something tells me he'll be up to the task. I suppose my first response to this wiggly baby could have been frustration. He was not cooperating. But instead, I enjoyed the bright blue eyes and grinning face of my litlte guy.

There's always a choice, isn't there? Sometimes I feel very deserving, very much in the right. I feel like it's my right to be frustrated right now, it's my right to be annoyed with this circumstance. They are the ones that need to change. They are the ones that need to fix this. Because the parent is always right, right?

And often, when it comes to children misbehaving, they are wrong. They are somehow not following the rules.

But I have a choice as well. Before i start speaking, I can decide how I will approach this sittuatuation. What the end result, end consequence will be. How I will let this sittuation affect my mood.

Because honestly, one bad tantrum from my toddler, or one hour of a screaming baby, and I've had enough. I want to quite on the day. 

But I don't have to.

The choice is always there.

How will I respond?

What kind of grace will I receive?

Is my response Biblically based?

What kind of grace can I speak into the world around me today?

Just a few thoughts from a girl who just sipped a wonderful cup of peppermint tea. Tea has such a calming affect. Stepping back, and letting God speak is such a great way to start the day.

"Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person" (Colossians 4:6, HCSB).

Words

It’s a rainy day today. Cancelled plans mean little girl and I are chilling at home, working on laundry, fulfilling tiny tasks around the house, and generally being lazy. I generally have trouble relaxing, so today is a bit of a blessing. My springtime allergies are still acting up, so that’s one more reason it’s nice to just be home today. It amazes me how independent E is becoming. She’s actually starting to play independently, enjoying time in the sunshine, reading books to herself, and/or changing her baby doll’s clothes. Even with these bursts of independence, she still depends on me quite a bit. Her world still largely revolves around our daily routines, and on mama finding things to entertain her with. This can be draining. I often find that I don’t use those moments of “independence” for much more than web searching. Which could be a blog post of its own. While I could be using the time wisely, I don’t. I’m so used to her not giving me any time to myself, ha!

It’s easy for me to become impatient with her. Easy for me to get fed up with entertaining, keeping busy, playing 2-year-old games. Easy for me to get fed up with teaching her right from wrong. Some days are seemingly filled with “learning moments.” Learning moments for her and for me. I don’t often like having to teach her these things. She’s such a sweet girl that it’s hard to teach her right from wrong. But it has to be wrong. Outbursts, speaking disrespectfully, deliberately disobeying, left unattended with only lead to worst things later in life.

My words are powerful. How I chose to use them, especially with my child, will have lasting consequences. Words. they come out of my mouth so easily, and stay there for so long. Already her eyes and heart capture it all. It’s such a hard balance, to make her understand that something is wrong, but at the same time, still speak the words in love. If I’m too “soft” she won’t even listening. If I’m too harsh, it hurts my heart a little bit.

Because I want her to love me. I want her to view me as someone she can turn to for wisdom and advice.

But I can’t to it on my own.

On my own, my tongue only breeds disaster.

On my own, I don’t stand a chance of taming it, or its effects (James 3:8).

That’s why I’m so thankful for Jesus. I’m so thankful for His influence on my life. I’m so thankful that He departs wisdom and understanding into my life on a daily basis. His wisdom is gentle and full of mercy. His parenting style is the one I long to follow. I pray that my words are seasoned with grace (Colossians 4:6). That they daily teach my daughter right from wrong, but speak love into her life as well. To do this, I definitely need the wisdom of God.

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace" (James 3:17-18, HCSB).

I want our little world to be one of happiness and peace. One in which my daughter feels safe to explore and grow, knowing that that she’s safe and well loved. I want my words to guide her toward what is right and true. My ultimate prayer is that she will one day realize how much she needs Jesus as her personal Savior. That point is still several years down the road. Until then, speaking the truth into her life, with grace and love, is what I desire. Putting that into action is sometimes harder than others. I often find myself getting more impatient with her than i would with anyone else. Why does that always happen with the people closest to us? Why is it that my tongue is often the loosest at home, away from the public eye? I really don’t know, but it’s definitely something I want to watch. I don’t like those moments when the ugly side comes out. Yes, I have pregnancy hormones hard at work as well, but I still don’t like it when my words come out too fast, especially near the end of the day when I’m tired and busy. Little girl doesn’t deserve that, and neither do the other important people in my life. And so, my prayer, today and everyday, is that my words would be thoughtful and loving. That even when I must speak truth, I will have the wisdom of God on my side.

What do your words speak to those around you? Are they seasoned with grace? How do you find the balance between loving someone, but also speaking truth into their lives?

Quiet Time

This post was postdated. It was originially written on Monday, 12/17/12. 

Little girl is having a strange morning in which she's actually playing by herself. I put some clothes away,  dressed for the day, and then wandered down to sit at my computer, read some blog posts, and look up a few verses for my devotion time. It was rather peaceful, those few early morning moments to myself. 

I found myself searching for some verses, something that would match my mood, give me peace this morning. A lot of my friends are worried this morning. I can imagine how hard it is to send their children to school, or to go teach at a school themselves. 

My daugher is only two, but I can easily imagine her at 5 or 6. My heart is still raw when I think about last week. 

And so, I replace the negative thoughts with positive. I replace what I don't know and can't explain with what I do know. What I know to be good and right and true.

 "He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves" (Colossians 1:13, HCSB). 

 And oh how we have experienced this darkness this past week. I'm so glad that this world and its tremendous evil truly has no hold over me. I left that darkness behind when I accepted Christ as my Savior. You and i have been grafted into a beautiful kingdom of light. One day this world, and all that is evil in it, will pass away. Oh what a glorious day of light that will be!

"He is before all things, and by Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17, HCSB). 

He is still in control, even in the midst of darkness. He didn't leave those sweet babies (or brave teachers) alone on that fateful Friday. No, He was in control, even then. 

"For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile everything to Himself by making peace through the blood of His cross— whether things on earth or things in heaven" (Colossians 1:19-20, HCSB). 

 Peace is something that we won't see much of in this world. More and more, our world will be filled with unrest, as we slowly inch toward the endtimes. Christ is the one who brings a peace that passes understanding to our souls, and Christ is the one who will ultimately bring peace to this world. Oh how I long for that day of peace!

Thankfulness

All right everyone,

I’ll be honest, and say that I’ve had some very carnal days as of late. Days when I’ve looked at myself, looked at the world around me and criticized. And so, to combat those things, I thought I’d share some of the things I’m thankful for. Here goes:

A pretty Spring scarf, sent from my hubby:

Easter Lillies, because spring flowers are simply marvelous :)

Scrapbooking fun, because every girl needs a hobby :)

And mommy-time complete with lunch and a manicure, because even mommies need a break!

I'm also thankful for all the people in my life, who have helped us through this deployment. From prayers, to encouraging words, to a listening ear, it's all meant so much.

So, even though my little girl cried in town this morning, and is currently fighting her nap, even though my house looks less than perfect, and my hair is a mess, I deliberately chose to be thankful.

 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful " (Colossians 3:15, NIV).

What about you? What can you be thankful for today?

A praying-every-second kind of day

There are days when I can’t help but see God’s majesty. As the air gets cooler and the leaves begin to change, I see the beautiful canvass of this world set before me and I can't help but smile. There's really nothing better than taking in the Autumn leaves while sipping on a cup of tea. I'm content in those times.

But there are other days as well, days when I doubt, days when the world around me looks bleak, days when I emotionally can’t handle anything else.

And so I pray.

I offer up my insecurities and fears. I persist in perusing my Savior and trust Him to fill in the gaps. I choose to see the good in each and every situation.

I pray by the day, the hour, the minute, the second. If constant prayer is what it takes, then so be it.

I give my concerns time and again back to the One who is truly in control.

It's a battle that I'm determined to give over to my Savior. It's a battle I was never meant to fight on my own.

It's a battle for joy, for peace, for contentment. The enemy tries to steal beautiful moments from me, moments my Savior has given me to enjoy. And so, by praying, I embrace each moment God has given me in this life.

Do you ever have praying-every-second kinds of days?

^“Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer” (Romans 12:12 HCSB).

“With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18 HCSB).

^“Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6 HCSB).

“Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2, HCSB).

Jesus at the Helm

I’ve finished Colossians in my devotions. Still, I find myself coming back to Colossians 3:15 over and over again. There’s just something about that verse that speaks to my heart right now. There’s something about allowing God’s peace to control my heart. It’s a lesson I’ve really needed hammered home as of late.

This week has been a lonely one. It’s been a week where my daughter and I have pretty much been on our own. It’s had days where I’ve desperately needed to speak to another grown-up. Do you ever have days like that?

It’s been a week that has really caused me to think about where my heart abides.

Does it abide in circumstances?

Do I spend more of my day worry about the things happening around me then I do on my knees?

1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to “pray constantly.” Do I do this?

I hope that I do.

I need to pray constantly.

Why, you may ask?

Because, my dear friends, I need the strength of God so much. I need Him to help me through the hard days. To encourage me on the discouraging ones. To give me the strength to be the mommy I need to be to my little girl, the wife I need to be for my husband, and the friend I need to be to those around me.

I try time and again to do it on my own. But I can’t. I can’t meet the demands of this life without my Jesus at the Helm of it all. I have only made it this far in this thing called life because of His strength and peace.

Grab hold of him dear friends. Let him take your heart and fill it with His peace. Let Him take control. Trust me, there’s no better place to be.

A Peaceful Heart

^“And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts” [Colossians 3:15, HCSB).

“You’re unworthy,” the voice says. “You’ll never make it. Why don’t you just stop trying?”

The battle rages on and on in my brain. Daily Satan tempts me, encouraging me to give up on what is true and right and believe his lies of deceit. His lies are good ones, ones that focus on my own weaknesses and past failures. He knows how to push my buttons.

But I serve a God who is greater than Satan and his lies.

I serve a God who promises to invade my life with peace and joy.

Sometimes, as I walk through a particularly hard day, it’s a continual battle. A continual process of taking those doubts and placing them in the hands of Jesus.

Because I long for peace so much more than strife.

I don’t want to dwell on past mistakes and failures.

I don’t want to remember, once again, how other people have let me down.

Instead I want to focus on how great my God is.

And so I pray, once again, that peace would invade every corner of my heart. Because there’s no better place to be.

A Prayer from Colossians

Good morning dear friends! Take a moment and let these verses sink in. They’re truly amazing ones. They remind us where our focus should truly be in this life:

“For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven't stopped praying for you. We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding,  so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing [to Him], bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints' inheritance in the light. He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins”

[Colossians 1:9-14 HCSB)

Some prayers of my heart:

May I always grow closer to my Savior.

May I bear good fruit, fruit that shows the love of God living in me.

May I have joy, glorious joy, even during a time of deployment. Because I feel that life is too precious to not live every day with joy.

May I have patience, patience with my daughter as she grows and learns and patience with my husband as we keep our marriage strong from a distance.

May I never forget the great price that was paid for my sins!