This Fall, I've been participating in a Bible study on Gideon (by Priscilla Shirer). Gideon was a man who was anything but a leader. He was a cowered, hiding from the Midianites in a winepress, but God saw something more. He saw someone he could mold and use. But it wouldn't be by Gideon's own power. No, in fact, God would whittle down Gideon's army from 32,000 to 300 men. The ratio of his men compared to the other guys? 450:1. The reasoning behind it? God didn't want any doubt about who won this battle. It wouldn't be by the vast number of men. It would be by God alone.
One of my greatest struggles, isn't in feeling overly confident, but a lack of confidence all together. I look at my own weaknesses, and cower. I'm ready to give up when something doesn't come easily to me. I start to wonder if I misheard. Misinterpreted the call of God on my life. If doing this will just lead to more disappointment, more failures, more mistakes. I forget, that He's called me to live my life exactly as I am.
He makes no mistakes.
He's called me to write imperfectly. To love my husband and children imperfectly. To struggle throuugh this military life, making new friends, setting up a new home, new life every few years. He doesn't call me to perfection.
No, imperfection is exactly what he wants.
He wants the people He can move through. H wants me to share my heart, so that I can point out that, Yes, God shows up. He shows up everyday, and big ways and small. And it's in our very weaknesses that He reveals himself. That way, there can be no doubt that He shows up. He speaks to our hearts when our kids are screaming, in the dead of the night when we're rocking a young child, when we laugh til our side hurts, when we take that scarey step and meet new friends. When we suffer through the awkward moments of feeling like we overshared. When we wonder, if we'll ever truly feel at home. When we take changes, stand on promises, and open our eyes to what He is going to do.
Yes, there are moments that I'm afraid. But then, there are the times that I open my eyes, and see the Lord revealed in my life. He's there, ready and willing to be revealed. He's ready to reveal Himself through your weaknesses. He's ready to show up. For if we didn't have weaknesses, why would we seek Him? Where do you see God in your life today?