I read a really inspiring post over on Grace for Moms the other day, check it out here. The author was sharing about her cancer diagnosis at the beginning of 2015, and how hard it was to give up time with her young son, and let others love on him during this hard season. I can't imagine such a diagnosis, but I can identify with her mommy struggles. In this Pinterest age of supper mommies, we hold ourselves to such a high standard. We want to do it all with our children, to make the most of every situation. And we want to prove that we can handle this motherhood thing on our own. But, sometimes, life invades. Frazzled circumstances enter in, and we're forced to admit that we can't do this on our own. We put our sweet children in preschool, hire that babysitter, or trade babysitting with a friend, and then suffer the mommy guilt. The feeling that we're somehow letting our kids down. That we weren't enough.
But you know what?
Sometimes it's ok to let other people love on my children.
I had grand plans to homeschool my children. Before my first child was born, I had even signed up to receive emails from one homeschool curriculum company. I was definite in my decision, homeschooling was the perfect choice for our military way of life.
But then... life entered in. A deployment, a 2,000 mile move, a second deployment—homeschooling just didn't seem like the right choice for us, at that moment. And so, our daughter was sent to preschool. I suffered so much guilt over this, but, soon, I began to see changes. She was excited about this, our relationship at home was improving because of this, and peace entered in. I knew that, for this season, schooling outside the home was the right decision. And then this year, Kindergarten. I truly never thought we would send her outside the home for Kindergarten, but we did, and it's wonderful. Wonderful, because I feel such a peace about sending her there. Wonderful, because I'm learning that, sometimes, it's ok to let go of my kids a bit. It's ok to admit that, at this point in time, mommy needs a little break. Mommy needs to breathe. And that this school, is the perfect, thriving place for my daughter to be.
My second child entered a preschool program this Fall, and once again I felt a bit guilty, especially because He had a rough beginning. (We're still trying to get through the tears at drop-off and pick-up, y'all). But I know that this change will be good for my son and I as well. He will get the chance to socialize, be around other children his age, and learn from a teacher outside of the home. And I have to say, the teachers at his school are amazing! They're encouraging, uplifting, teaching them how to interact with others, teaching them about Jesus. And by loving my children, they're loving my heart as well.
Isn't that the beautiful part? When we let others love on our children, we feel the overflow as well. When I know my children are happy, and exactly in the place they need to be, my heart feels happy and at peace. And that is a marvelous thing! I truly believe that God knew that I needed this season. That He has some lesson for my heart in this coming year, with both kiddos in school. There will be definitely be some heart work going on. And so, I open my hands, and thank Him for this season of grace. This season of letting go, and letting others love my children. I thank Him for this wonderful school, where I felt good about leaving my kids each day. And, I pray about future years. Who knows, a few years down the road, the answer to homeschooling may be a resounding yes! But the lesson for my heart will still be the same. Sometimes it's good to let other people love my children.