I find myself with a few rare moments to write. The house, surprisingly, is completely silent. Only the buzz of the heating vent keeps me company. And... I'm distracted at best. It's so easy for me to click, click, click. Click through social media sites, catch up on blogs, search for random new articles, watch another episode of my favorite Masterpiece theater show. These are the ways I spend my time. My random moments. Moments while I'm nursing a baby, trying to relax, trying to veg.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
No, there's truly nothing wrong with resting.
I know that resting is, often, what my body needs. I need downtime. Time when I don't have to think. Don't have to rush from one thing to the next.
But there's a balance to be found. One I'm still exploring, still seeking after. A balance between staying healthy, staying in God's word, keeping up on housework, investing in my children, doing things simply because I enjoy them.
My husband and I worked on a few projects together over the holidays. It was so much fun! We sewed some fleece jammies for the kiddos, built a play oven for our daughter, and I painted some artwork for our walls (yey Pinterest!). It felt good being creative, letting energy out, being me. It was an area that had been so out of balance for awhile. (Understandably so, with little ones in the house!).
Something I've noticed is that I easily get overwhelmed. If my brain gets too overwhelmed I start projects but never get around to finishing them. And that's why the hubby and I were intentional with our time. What a wonderful feeling!
And there's more projects in store. Sewing to do, scrapbooking and more scrapbooking, some writing dreams, and some books to conquer.
God gave me (and my husband) passions in this life. Things we love to do, things we find energy and fulfillment in. Things that don't empty, but fill us up. It's glorious when we invest in those things again. Those things that fill us with joy and peace. It's easy to forget that with little kids around. 8PM comes around, and, many days, we just want to drop into bed along with the kiddos. Some days, all we can manage is to simply sit in front of the tv and catch up on our favorite shows. And there's nothing wrong with that! I love cuddling with my hubby on the couch! But we're trying to do other things as well. We have craft projects to conquer, games to play, books to read, conversations to have with one another.
It's wonderful being intentional. Trying to find a (little bit) more of a balance in our crazy lives.
Balance takes intention. It takes planing. We have to set the time apart. Say that it's a project we want to accomplish. Plan on working on it together one evening. If we don't show intention, then it doesn't happen.
Isn't that true about many things?
I want to teach my kids balance in this life, but if I'm not showing any intention, any focus, how will they learn? What will they see?
And so, I'm trying to be more intentional with my husband, with my hobbies, with my writing, with my devotions.
If my children have taught me anything its flexibly. Young children have constantly changing moods. They can go from laughing to crying in no time at all. There are times that we've had to change our plans, go a different direction, take stops on a road trip, find a playground to expel some energy, all because of kids. They're unpredictable.
But isn't that life? New challenges are always coming across our paths.
My life looked far different in my college years and newlywed years than it does now with two little ones. And the balance is different as well. I'm sure my balance will look different this year than it will in future years. And you know what? That's ok. For this time in my life I might have to let go of some things. Might have to accept that certain things won't get accomplished, certain things are less than a priority.
Because I want the important things to come out on top. Spending time with God, loving on my babies, investing in my relationship with my husband, those are the most important things in my life. The other things, they're only perks, only blessings that make this life all the more beautiful.
Balancing the most important things and letting God take care of the rest. That's what I desire.
And so, I start my days with devotions and prayer, devotions while one babe nurses on me and the other runs around playing, climbing on me, reading books to me. Prayers while I make a breakfast smoothie, pour a glass of milk, smashing up some bananas for the babe to move around with his tiny fingers. Prayers while I stand in the shower, the only five minutes I'll probably have to myself today. Prayers as I discipline, I mold, I shape these little lives. Prayers for wisdom, for joy, for strength when my shoulders are weary and my head is heavy. Prayers for balance, as I remember what it's like to be me, me mommy, me military wife, me daughter of the King!
Yes, my devotional life and prayer life are less than my ideal. But, for right now, it works. It's what I need.
And the hour or two with my husband in the evening, watching tv, playing games, working on projects, it works for us. It's important. It's reminding us of the passions we have in this life. That things that make us happy.
And for that, I'm thankful.
So is there a perfect balance? I'm not really sure. I honestly think this whole world is out of balance if we're not looking to Jesus. That's what I want my babies to learn. Look to Jesus. Let Him take care of the rest. Let Him speak joy into your life, and bring out the things that really matter. The things that should hold your attention. The things that bring balance.