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Babe in arms


I have a babe in my arms these days. Growing, changing, and becoming his only little person day by day. 

He's oh so different than his sister. The way he eats, the way he sleeps, the way he looks. Already his my chubby little man. And oh how I love baby chub! I'm soaking up the cuddles, the smiles, the sweet baby gurggles.

Because I can hardly believe his sister standing her, so tall, so beautiful. How can she be less than a month away from three? Wasn't she just the babe in my arms? Wasn't my life just a blur of midnight feedings and pumpings? 

Here she stands, asking me for one more book, to twirl around the room, to fix her baby doll's dress. She mimics me, at my best and worst. To her I'm still a source of comfort, an authority figure and a friend. I make her world feel safe. Her face still lights up when I come to pick her up after Sunday School.

Yes, there are hard days, there are hard weeks. She tests me, she tries me, sometimes she screams at me. But she's mine.

She and her baby brother are mine. Mine to hold, mine to rock, mine to cherish.

For some reason God has seen fit to give these babes to me. And while I often feel discouraged by my dirty house and long list of dreams, I can't help but recognize the dream I'm living out right at this moment. 

I'm a mommy.

I recognize what a gift that is. 

There will come a day when my house can once again be spotless. When I can write in coffee shops to my hearts content. When my children no longer need me like they do right now. When it's easier to pack them up and go on some of our dream vacations. 

Until then, I'm trying to cherish the moments. It's really hard sometimes. Being a parent is hard. Harder than I realized. But it's beautiful too. Beautiful in its messiness. Beautiful in its craziness. Beautiful in its one day, one moment at a time -ness. 

Lord, give me peace as I face this day. Give me joy, even in the tough moments. Help me to laugh at the sittuations I find myself in. Grant me perspective when its needed.