I was blessed this morning. A friend took E out for a morning playdate at the park. A part of me was tempted to go along, a morning of laughter and sunshine is tempting. But the other part of me knew we needed some time apart. E needed a morning out, and I needed some time to myself. And so, E hopped in the car, looking way too grown up, and I took little man to a nearby coffee shop for some much needed "me" time. When the opportunity first came up I debated cleaning the house while she was away, or going grocery shopping with one kid instead of two. But ultimately my heart lead me here.
There's just something about a coffee shop. The background noise of music, the mummer of other customers talking, and my fingers free to fly across a keyboard, pouring out my heart. Coffee shops have long held this hold on me. They remind me of college, of the long hours I spent writing my thesis at just such a place. They remind me of dates with my husband (then boyfriend). Oh the hours spend sipping on coffee and pouring out dreams upon the page. Writing truly is my passion. It's how God speaks to me. It's how I express myself.
I've talked half-jokingly about owning a coffee shop/ bookstore someday. Who knows. Maybe my fancy will become a dream. Or maybe I'll always be finding my new favorite shop, wherever the military life may lead us. And thus, you find me today, sleeping babe in stroller next, danish treat already consumed, tall vanilla latte still sitting warm near hand.
So what to write? Life with two kiddos still isn't exactly easy, but we're getting there. E's tantrums are becoming less frequent, although we're still working on some listening issues. For the most part, she and her brother are taking a pretty lengthy afternoon nap together, for which I'm oh so grateful. Little man is sleeping pretty great at night as well! I'm still finding it hard to balance everything, keeping house, making dinner, taking care of the kids, writing, but I'm slowly getting there. It's hard to believe that month one is already behind us. I've been truly thankful for all the encouragement from friends who have been here before. It's definitely a new test on my patience and time management. My urge is to wish past this stage, to hurry past what could be called the "hardest" days, with two little ones in the house. But I'm trying so hard to cherish these moments. To not wish past the cuddles, sweet baby smells, little kisses and grubby hugs. Yes, there's also sleeplessness and tantrums, but there are truly beautiful moments as well. God has given me these days, for which I'm truly thankful.
Some of my current goals:
1) Spend time with Jesus.
When I find a few minutes for devotions and prayer, my heart has a different focus for the day. Now, I'm not perfect at this. Even less so since a second baby got thrown in the mix, but I'm trying. I'm trying to give each day, and my reactions to the day to Jesus before it even begins.
2) Don't let my children dictate my mood.
It's so easy to be grump when my kids are grumpy. So easy to let the day go downhill after a tantrum. But the choice really is mine. How do I react? Yes, I'm often the disciplinarian, giving time outs or sending E to her room for a nap or quiet time, but do I let her mood make my day a bad one? Or do I move past it, and still decide that the day will be a good one? The fact of the matter is that E is over something far before I am. She's moved past it, while I often dwell. And so, my latest goal is to be joyful today and everyday, even if things start off rough.
3) Take lots of pictures.
Freezing moments in time, laughter, sunshine, love, are a passion of mine. Taking pictures remind me to enjoy the moment, to keep the memories for later days. Taking pictures encourages me to actively take part in the world around me.
4) Just Live
Live everyday life. Enjoy the moments. Put down the mop and read a book, play with blocks, color a picture, or two, or three. Love on those around me, because these days will pass all too quickly. Be thankful for the todays.
How do you live in each moment? What's the secret to not letting life rush by to quickly? To not always living in the past or the future?