"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you" (Psalm 143:8, NLT).
My hours are long, at this point. Mornings come early, often before I'm ready to greet them. With a baby, and an early-bird toddler, I'm often up with the sun, fumbling for a cup of coffee to help jump-start my brain.
But even then, I can praise.
Praise Him for two beautiful, healthy children. Praise Him for a hard-working husband. Praise Him for all the little , everyday blessings in our lives.
Praise Him that we've made it through this first month with a newborn in the house. Month! It's hard to believe that our little guy is already a month old. In some ways, things are easier this time around. We aren't quite so frazzled by the cries, and we definitely sleep deeper in between feedings. In other ways, it's harder. It's hard to find that new balance. That new way of getting everything done. It's hard to balance my time between not one, but two children. It's harder than ever to get out of the house. And it's hard being so far from those I love.
Yesterday I was having a bought of loneliness. I was wishing that this military life wasn't what God had called us to. I really wanted to stop by and have tea with an old friend, or spend the afternoon at the beach with my mom. I wanted to have a game night with some pals, or swap babysitting with a play-group buddy. But, instead, I found myself sitting in a sandbox, playing with my little girl, soaking up the Alabama heat, and wishing I was somewhere less humid! My heart was aching from the miles that separate me from those I love most. And I was praying that this place will eventually feel like home.
I know that God has brought us here. Looking back, I can see His continued hand on each part of our lives. But it doesn't mean moving is easy. It doesn't mean that I don't feel the pain and loneliness involed as we trapse back and forth across the country.
But it does mean that I have a choice. Do I sit around, feeling sorry about my situation, or do I do something about it?
Mind you, I'm limited in what I can do at the moment. With a one-month-old and a two-year-old, it is rather hard for me to be social :) But I can still reach out. I can still make an effort. And I can still be honest about these feelings to my Savior.
Because He understands loneliness. He understands being separated from loved ones.
And He has a plan. He always does. If He placed my family here for a reason, I know He will work. I know He will provide.
Until then, I'm thankful for what I do have. I'm thankful for the blessing of friendships past and present in my life. I'm thankful for phone calls, letters, and social media that means I can stay in contact with those I hold dear.
And I'm thankful that I've been fortunate enough to have relationships to miss. To have people I love enough that my heart hurts when they're far away.
And so, in this early morning quiet time, I praise Him for all He is. And I thank Him for all of you. Oh how fortunate am I!