I was babysitting on Monday night. The little one was fast asleep, and so I was puttering away on my computer, writing a bit, watching the Olympics, and chatting with my husband on a messaging service.
As we were talking, I was looking through old Facebook comments from our dating days. It was strange, looking into the past like that. Our life today is so different. Here we are, with an almost 2-year-old, me a stay at home mom, him working in a completely different state (then he was back then). It's only been 5 years, but it seems like a different lifetime.
Back then, we were both in graduate school. Our days were mostly filled with classes, evenings were spent doing homework, or attending Bible studies at church. We really had no great cares, our money and time was mostly our own to spend.
And so, how did I end up with my husband? So many decisions made that possible.
Was God in the midst of it all?
There's an interesting balance between free-will and predestination. Amazingly this issue is one that has separated churches. People believe differently on the subject.
Me? I believe that God is my Creator and that He has been writing my story since before I was born (Psalm 139). He is so all knowing that He can see every decision I could make in this life, but He also knows every decision I do make. I know, it's kind of crazy to wrap your brain around. I honestly still don't fully comprehend it.
But there is God, watching out for all of us, and truly knowing what's best for each of us.
You know that verse "He gives you the desires of your heart?"
Well, it had long been my prayer that my desires would be the same as God's desires for me. I also prayed that when the right guy came along, I would truly just know.
While I didn't know "instantly" when I meant my husband, In fact, we were just friends for quite awhile, there was a certain, quiet, assurance that God was holding all the pieces in His hand. That HE could see the big pictures. And things just clicked. They made sense. This man, He made sense as my best friend and life mate. And I really wouldn't have life any other way.
So, when I look back on the yesterdays, I have no regrets. I'm where I'm supposed to be. Yes, we'll keep on growing and moving and changing, but God holds the masterful key that fits all the puzzle pieces together. The final decision has never fully been mine. Feel free to disagree, but that's what I believe.