I haven't really let myself think about it. I processed the information on the news today. I watched the footage of little elementary students describing what they saw and heard. I saw the death toll counts roll across the screen. I've read friend after friend's comment about it online today.
But I still haven't had the words to say for myself. I still haven't known what to say.
It's horrifying, to send your baby to school, at Christmastime no less, and to not see them come home a the end of the day.
My hard week with little E seems a lot less horrible now. My frustration with her, annoyances, along with the aches and pains of pregnancy I've been experiencing lately, really don't seem that bad.
I was even going to post something on social media this morning, expressing my frustrations with my way-to-adventurous daughter.
But then it really didn't seem to matter.
It seemed so trivial to mention that things my daughter has destroyed today, including my computer.
It seemed silly to gripe about her week of terrible twos, and how badly I want the hubby to come come from his class tomorrow.
Because the fact of the matter is that I wouldn't change it for anything. I would take my little girl, with her horrible tantrums, over any other reality.
My friend said it best. It was evil. Evil that showed itself today. Evil that killed innocent children and the teachers trying to protect them.
I don't think fingers can be pointed besides that.
The only remedy is Jesus. Oh how I pray that the people in the midst of this tragedy know Jesus. Because oh how they're going to need to lean on Him in the coming days.
Life without Him truly is hopeless and meaningless.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, HCSB).
"He gives strength to the weary and strenthens the powerless" (Isaiah 40:29, HCSB).
"God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. Therefore we will not be afraid, though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the seas" (Psalm 46: 1-2, HCSB).