I'm so thankful for the few moments i"m getting away this morning. My friend and I have been trading babysitting as of late, which works out well for both of us. She gets a few hours to work on her photography, I get a few hours to write! Plus, our little girls get to play together, so it works out well with everyone. This morning, I was truly in need of a break. Not a break from parenting or chores, no, I was in need of a break from my brain.
Yesterday, I received some strange news. News that I know is false. My heart knows this, my head even knows this, but still doubts start to creep in. It was just a test result. A result I know can't be correct. Just the same, my brain was going crazy last night. I was searching the internet for every possible scenario. I was starting to become paranoid about it all. I have an appointment to be re-tested for this strange thing, but it's not for over a month. How, my brain asks, will I last that long? Will I go crazy before then? Will I be able to stand the unknowns? The anxious part of my brain tells me that I can't. I can't make it more than a month with these unknowns. That's not the way I function. I'm too much of a worrier to be patient.
But then God starts to intervene.
He reminds me that Anxious Meg still has room to change and grow. Anxiety is something that doesn't have to own me. If I know that something is false, why should I drive myself crazy while I wait for different results? There's really no need to. Instead, I can rest in the blessed assurance of a Savior who knows me and knows the situation. He knows the results are false. I know it's false. So all I have to do is trust Him for different results.
"Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, HCSB).
Oh how I need my head and my heart guarded today. I don't want this unknown to drive me crazy. I truly want to rest in the wings of the one who owns me (Psalm 61:4).
Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever had a test result, or a person, or a life circumstance tell you one thing, when you know that it's another? How do you deal with the unknowns? How do you grow through the situation?
For me, it's definitely about trust. Trust, and letting go of any anxiety that tries to own me.
I haven't shared the details of this strange test, but could you pray for me? Pray that things get worked out quickly, and that my trust remains up above. Is there anything I can pray for you today? I'd love to join you in bringing our requests, bit and small, to the throne of grace. Because prayer works, my friends.
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13, HCSB).