I am emotionally drained this evening. I’m definitely having trouble finding joy this week. This potty training has been rough. I know I just shared all of this with you, but it’s honestly still rough. Patience, joy, peace are hard to come by. I second-guess my actions, the way I’ve approached this whole thing.
But, for a moment, I’m away from it all. My dear hubby has let me escape to a coffee shop for the evening. A much needed retreat. My soul needed this in so many ways. It’s quiet here. There’s coffee shop music playing. I was able to commandeer a spot by the fireplace; that, and the latte in my hand, makes this pure bliss. When I step out of the middle of a situation, I can often see things more clearly. Is this true for you as well? I can see my daughter’s joy in living. How she’s truly been enjoying the extra attention during this time. I can see her brain working hard, trying to figure out this concept of using the potty. I can see my own impatience, my own need to relax and let things come as they will. And I can see my own need to rest. To truly soak up this time apart, as short as it may be.
There’s something funny about being here in a coffee shop. It reminds me of my grad school days, holing up in coffee shops for hours on end. Correcting papers, writing term papers and a thesis. It’s funny how priorities and time change people. Back then, I was on the brink of so many dreams. Since then, I’ve married, had a child, and moved half-way across the country. Yet, my writing is still here. A part of me is still fulfilled when I sit with a latte, a warm fire, and my laptop. And my dreams are still intact, they’ve just modified over time. Of course I’ve changed, but an integral part of what makes me, me is still the same.
Words are still a part of who I am. They’re still how I express myself. How I pray. How I discern. They’re how I piece together this life. Words, and prayer.
Yes, I definitely need to be doing some praying tonight. Sorting through all the emotions I’ve been feeling lately. Asking God what He wants to teach me through this whole process.
As I think, and pray about it, the resounding theme for this evening is perseverance. Staying on the task. Looking toward the ultimate goal. It’s easy to get caught up in everything that is or isn’t going right, instead of looking ahead.
“Be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord” (Psalm 31:24, HCSB).
“So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith” (Galatians 6:9-10, HCSB).
I am my daughter’s cheerleader, I always will be. It’s my job to be her advocate, her encourager. To help her succeed. Yes, it’s tiring at times, just as this life as a whole is, but my God will sustain me today, and everyday.
I’m truly thankful for this evening apart. This perspective. This chance to think, to write, to look at the bigger picture. It’s so easy to get downtrodden, to get discouraged, to forget to let Jesus take the reigns, even with something as seemingly miniscule as potty training. This is my chance to let go, and let God work over the next few days. Who knows what He’ll do.
Lord Jesus, help me to persevere over the next few days. Give me joy and peace in what ever I may face. Help me to live my life for you, so that my daughter can see your love. Encourage my little girl in this new endeavor, I’m sure she needs it. Give us both the patience we need to figure this thing out.