I love deeply and so, I also hurt deeply. Back in high school this meant that I lived most of my life distanced, afraid to let people close and see the real me. Even as a 16-year-old, I'd already learned that close friendships hurt at the soul.
In college, God began to soften my heart as I let in some life long friends. Friends that knew every part of me and chose to be near me anyway. Friends that stood up next to me on my wedding day. Friends that still call to check in on me and my growing family.
Friends. The military means that my friends are spread all over the globe. Months, years go by between visits, but friends we remain. Sometimes those friendships aren't as intimate as they used to be. My gentle heart is hurt by the distance, but God is there to hold the pieces.
Sometimes I still feel alone. Sometimes I still feel as if few people in this world care enough to know the true me.
But then a friend calls me up and listens to my woes. Although she can't completely understand, she's there to comfort me the best she can.
And then, some ladies come over for a spouse’s night. They fill my home with warmth and funny stories. No, they're not close friends like the college friends. But they're people to connect with. People who care.
And that’s exactly what I needed tonight. Friendship.
In the end, I am left feeling blessed. I felt alone, but my God reminded me that I am always close to His heart.
“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, HCSB)