What if I don’t want to change from this experience?
What if I drag my feet in the sand and protest for as long as I can? What if I scream?
Because that’s honestly what I feel like doing sometimes.
I want my life to stay perfectly happy.
But it’s not always.
I don’t want trials to come my way.
But there they are just the same.
I don’t want to face hardships.
But still I must confront them.
I want my life to be different then it is.
I want my husband to have a regular 9 to 5 job.
But do I?
Because to desire those things would be to give up so much of this life that I do love.
To desire those things would mean being married to someone different.
Because I married a man in uniform.
I married a man who was already living out his calling.
I married a man whom we both knew would deploy over our lifetime together.
That is a part of who my man is.
He has an innate desire to serve his country.
He loves his family and wants to protect their freedom.
The military is a part of who he is.
By denying this reality, I’m denying a part of him.
And I don’t want to do that.
Because I love my military man.
I’ve followed him half way across the country.
I’ve built a life with him far from family.
We’ve depended on God to see us through the lonely times so far.
And we will cling to what we believe in the future as well.
Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes the future can be a scarey thing to look at. Thankfully, I have a true peace that can only come from God up above. He alone gives me confidence to face times of loneliness. He alone gives me the strength to face the hard days. We serve such an amazing God!
"Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" ( 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 HCSB).