I know it's wrong. I know that I need to try harder, but I often don't.
But then I think about all the times I did reach out. I think about all the friendships I've had over the years that have blessed me in so many ways.
There was my friend in high school who used to pass notes with me between classes. We played soccer together, baked concoctions that might be identified as cookies, and had a deep love for NSYNC. She was a special friend, in a special time of my life. Although we may live over a thousand miles away, she'll always be important to me.
There were my kindred spirit friends in college. From day one we found ourselves bonded together through a new adventure in life. We share secrets and dreams, crammed for tests, and laughed at the silliest things. I have so many great memories with these girls.
There were my coffee friends, people I would meet once a week or so over a cup of joe to talk about school, love, relationships, and God. Some of these girls were in college with me, some in grad school, and some even here in my new home. Coffee is such a great way for girls to connect. I'll never get tired of chatting about everything under the sun at a cafe or at someone's house. It's such a blessing to me!
Yet, I still struggle when the military moves us to a new location. I look over my shoulder and compare those friends from the past with my present reality. I miss what is behind me, instead of looking at what God has given me in the here and now.
In the midst of all this, God gave me a small blessing today. My neighbor and I had a chat on the phone, in which she expressed her desire to throw me a baby shower. She, and the other girls in our community, wanted to bless me this way. ME! The girl who has barely gotten out of her comfort zone enough to say hello to her neighbors. ME! The shy one, who has yet to learn most of her neighbors names. I've hardly reached out to them at all, yet they want to do something for me.
I'm so undeserving. And so utterly grateful. Once again God has shown His love to me in a practical way. He's encouraged my neighbor to reach out to me, when I was afraid to. He's helped start a new friendship in my life, which I'm so thankful for.
What a day this has been!