Now that I’m married, living across country from my mom, being sick is largely a lonely business. My husband is sweet and helpful, but he has responsibilities and a job to fulfill in the military, a job that doesn’t easily stop for a sick wife. On top of being sick, I’m currently pregnant with our first child, which brings on a new world of worries whenever I start to come down with something. Because I know that when my body is rejecting nutrients, my sweet little one isn’t getting the nutrients he or she needs to thieve. And so I worry, and cry, and hate every moment of being sick while my husband is at work. I worry that something is happing to the baby. I cry because I’m an emotional woman whose hormones are out of whack. I hate every moment of it, because who likes driving yourself into town for Gatorade when you can hardly sit behind the wheel?
But most of all, I walk around, continually giving myself and the life of my little baby to the Lord. Today I’ve been reminded time and again that, even when my husband is at work, I’m really never alone. God is still God, and is still watching over me every second of the day. He understands all of the emotions I’m feeling, but most of all, he wants me to trust in him. I’m also reminded that each breathe this little one breathes inside of me has never belonged to me, but to Him. He has already ordained the number of days in this little one’s life (Psalm 139:16), so who am I to worry? (Matthew 6:27). I’ve only been pregnant for 4 ½ months, but already this little life has brought so much joy and excitement. There’s nothing more beautiful than a growing baby! I can’t help but be amazed at the picture of my growing belly, it’s that amazing.
No, I still don’t feel all too great at the moment. But I’m thankful, and trusting, and looking forward to the end of the day when my husband will come walking through the door. Until then, and even afterwards, I’ll give every sick moment to the Lord.