For me, this wilderness began when I found out my husband was deploying. I spent many days crying and thinking all about how rough my life would be in a new town without my best friend by my side. It was only when I began to get past myself that God began to work in me. It was only when I reached up to Him and asked him for help that He reminded me that he alone holds the keys to life and death. Each of us is here on this earth for exactly as long as he has planed: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). It was extremely hard for me to accept this truth, and to be honest, I still struggle with it to this day. Just the same, it’s comforting to know that my husband is safely in the arms of Christ.
In the end, my husband’s deployment was cancelled at the last minute, but only after I gave the whole situation to Christ, and was content with whatever would happen.
To be honest, I can’t imagine life without my husband. But I know that my Lord and Savior would see me through, one step at a time.
God taught me a great lesson in trust this year, one I won’t easily forget. He made me realize that safety doesn’t come from people or circumstances, but from God alone. He is our true refuge and safety, as Psalm 46 so beautifully says.
I don’t know when my husband will be called up for a deployment again, it could be tomorrow, it could be a year from now. Either way, I know I’ll approach the next one with a different heart. I pray that God will help me be at peace through that next wilderness time, and help me to see the hope on the other end, even while the world is still dark around me.
“ We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.” (1 John 5:18-20).