Archive for » July 20th, 2010«

20
Jul
Finding Joy
meg

114_1232_2I wasn’t feeling much joy when I woke up this morning. My night was a restless one. At 3 AM I was staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by, and feeling my little one kicking inside. I loved feeling the kicks, but I hated the fact that I was awake. On top of the kicks I had an awful headache. Headaches and I are good friends. We meet each other on a pretty regular basis. Just the same, this one was worse then normal, and there was little I could take to relieve it, without hurting my little one.
As 3 AM turned to 4 AM and then 5AM, I wandered in and out of consciousness, never quite getting back to a deep, peaceful sort of sleep. Finally I came down stairs to lounge on the couch, and was able to catch a few more zzz’s before my husband headed off to work.
People tell me that the restless sleeping is preparing me for motherhood. They seem to see it as a good thing, but at 32 weeks pregnant, I would rather just have my sleep.
People tell me to pray when I find myself awake in the middle of the night, but my mind is too groggy to contemplate too much prayer.
People tell me so many remedies to help me through this pregnancy, but few of them actually seem to help.
I think it’s ultimately up to me. I can chose to grumble, or I can chose to find joy, even on the roughest of days. Other people can’t do that for me, I have to do it for myself.
And so, at the prodding of a friend, I searched for some verses on joy early this morning, and here’s what I found:

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28:7 NIV).

God is my refuge and strength on groggy, head-achy sorts of days. When I trust in Him, He is ready and willing to be my help. He’s ready and willing to pick up the frail, hormonal pieces of this pregnant woman, and make something beautiful out of them.
He’s not finished with me yet. Even on the toughest of days, He’s ready to throw some joy into the mix, if only I seek and find it.

What about you? Do you need a good dose of joy in your life today? What verses inspire you to persevere?

tuesdays unwrapped at cats

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20
Jul
An Imperfect House
meg

I’ll admit it: I’ve kind of let the house go since I became pregnant. I do my best to keep up on things, but in general, things are just a bit more messy and disorganized than they used to be.
Just the same, I still strive to make home a place my husband wants to come home too. I still greet him at the door with a kiss and a smile on my face. I still have something planned for dinner, even if my husband has to help cook the food a little more these days. I still keep on the laundry and grocery shopping, so that my husband is always clothed and well fed. But I’ve let the carpets and bathrooms get quite dirty. I just can’t keep up on everything.
Although I often feel discouraged when I look around the house, I’m so thankful that my husband is giving me a bit of grace these days. He understands that I have less energy overall, and just can’t bend over as easily. He understands that the house will just have to be less than perfect from now on. In fact, he really doesn’t care. He’s just happy to be home, with me.
It’s my own perfectionism that has set these unrealistic standards. It’s because of my perfectionism that I often beat myself up for not finishing all the tasks on my lists. It’s not my husband. It’s me.
I know when this child comes I’ll have to embrace a new type of lifestyle. Even then the house will never be as perfect as I want it to be. But even then, I still want my husband to come home to a slightly messy house filled with love and peace.
How I’m going to accomplish this, I don’t quite now, but I do know it will involve a lot of prayer.
How do you deal with all of the daily tasks around the house? How do you balance it all, without going crazy? Have you found any verses that encourage you?

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