Archive for » July, 2010 «

20
Jul
Finding Joy
meg

114_1232_2I wasn’t feeling much joy when I woke up this morning. My night was a restless one. At 3 AM I was staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by, and feeling my little one kicking inside. I loved feeling the kicks, but I hated the fact that I was awake. On top of the kicks I had an awful headache. Headaches and I are good friends. We meet each other on a pretty regular basis. Just the same, this one was worse then normal, and there was little I could take to relieve it, without hurting my little one.
As 3 AM turned to 4 AM and then 5AM, I wandered in and out of consciousness, never quite getting back to a deep, peaceful sort of sleep. Finally I came down stairs to lounge on the couch, and was able to catch a few more zzz’s before my husband headed off to work.
People tell me that the restless sleeping is preparing me for motherhood. They seem to see it as a good thing, but at 32 weeks pregnant, I would rather just have my sleep.
People tell me to pray when I find myself awake in the middle of the night, but my mind is too groggy to contemplate too much prayer.
People tell me so many remedies to help me through this pregnancy, but few of them actually seem to help.
I think it’s ultimately up to me. I can chose to grumble, or I can chose to find joy, even on the roughest of days. Other people can’t do that for me, I have to do it for myself.
And so, at the prodding of a friend, I searched for some verses on joy early this morning, and here’s what I found:

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28:7 NIV).

God is my refuge and strength on groggy, head-achy sorts of days. When I trust in Him, He is ready and willing to be my help. He’s ready and willing to pick up the frail, hormonal pieces of this pregnant woman, and make something beautiful out of them.
He’s not finished with me yet. Even on the toughest of days, He’s ready to throw some joy into the mix, if only I seek and find it.

What about you? Do you need a good dose of joy in your life today? What verses inspire you to persevere?

tuesdays unwrapped at cats

Category: Psalm, Uncategorized  2 Comments
20
Jul
An Imperfect House
meg

I’ll admit it: I’ve kind of let the house go since I became pregnant. I do my best to keep up on things, but in general, things are just a bit more messy and disorganized than they used to be.
Just the same, I still strive to make home a place my husband wants to come home too. I still greet him at the door with a kiss and a smile on my face. I still have something planned for dinner, even if my husband has to help cook the food a little more these days. I still keep on the laundry and grocery shopping, so that my husband is always clothed and well fed. But I’ve let the carpets and bathrooms get quite dirty. I just can’t keep up on everything.
Although I often feel discouraged when I look around the house, I’m so thankful that my husband is giving me a bit of grace these days. He understands that I have less energy overall, and just can’t bend over as easily. He understands that the house will just have to be less than perfect from now on. In fact, he really doesn’t care. He’s just happy to be home, with me.
It’s my own perfectionism that has set these unrealistic standards. It’s because of my perfectionism that I often beat myself up for not finishing all the tasks on my lists. It’s not my husband. It’s me.
I know when this child comes I’ll have to embrace a new type of lifestyle. Even then the house will never be as perfect as I want it to be. But even then, I still want my husband to come home to a slightly messy house filled with love and peace.
How I’m going to accomplish this, I don’t quite now, but I do know it will involve a lot of prayer.
How do you deal with all of the daily tasks around the house? How do you balance it all, without going crazy? Have you found any verses that encourage you?

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13
Jul
Baby Kicks
meg

114_1176_2I lay awake in the early morning hours with my hand pressed against my stomach. “Thump,” a little arm or leg punches back against my fingers. My heart leaps with joy. I quickly forget the night before, when I tossed and turned uncomfortably, my belly making my normal sleeping positions impossible. Instead, in these early morning hours, I focus on the thrill of having a little human being growing inside of me.

I eagerly anticipate the day, now two short months away, when I’ll finally find out if this little one is a girl or a boy. I realize that, even then, my sleeping patterns will be interrupted. And that all that I experience now is only part of the preparation for motherhood.

I pray that God makes me a good mother. A strong mother. A mother that depends on her Savior most of all. I pray that this little one has a good experience growing up in the military. That they will come to love this life as much as their daddy and I do.

I pray so many things for this little one. I’m so thankful that he or she is coming soon.
And I’m so thankful for the little kicks I feel in the morning.

tuesdays unwrapped at cats

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07
Jul
A Weak but Willing Vessel
meg

I’ve been feeling less than worthy lately. I compare myself to others and see all the areas in which I drastically fall short.

Sometimes I wonder why I sit here at home, writing, instead of having a job out in the world. “Why has God called me to this?” I ask. “There are so many better candidates.” I look at all the mistakes I make, at the gifts I don’t have, and even at the time that I don’t invest into writing day in and day out. I berate myself for not sticking to the schedule I set up. I wonder what it’s all about. I don’t see the purpose in it all. But God does. While I see the shortcomings, God sees the opportunities to work.

It’s amazing how the words of others can speak to me at times. This morning, encouragement came through the blogs of two special ladies, Lysa Terkeurst and Sarah Markley. Both of these ladies reminded me that God has a specific calling on my life as a writer. He has placed me in this moment in time not as a perfect candidate, but as a willing vessel that He can mold and form into whatever he chooses. He understands my weaknesses and shortcomings, and loves me because of them.

Is that amazing or what? While I hate my shortcomings, God doesn’t. He sees them as part of His perfect creation.

And the same is true for you as well. God created you intentionally, with a purpose. Even if you don’t understand that purpose, God does.

So embrace those imperfections today, and be ready for God to move in your life. A life surrendered is the best place to be.

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him” (1 Corinthians 1:27-29 NIV).

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV).

What area of your life do you feel extremely weak at the moment? Is it in your job? In your home as a military wife or mother? In a new city where you feel all alone? What verses do you turn to during times of trials? What is God trying to teach you at this moment in time?

Lord, thank you for the reminder that you work through the very things that I see as weaknesses. Please help me to depend on you for strength today and everyday.

Category: 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment