Archive for » May, 2010 «

26
May
Finding Beauty Where I Am
meg

Anne of Green Gables is one of my favorite fictional characters. She’s witty, imaginative, and has a great love of writing, just like me. Anne struggles to find her place in the writing world. She writes far-fetched romance stories that have little to do with her actual reality. It’s only when she’s encouraged to “write what she knows” that she succeeds as an author. She writes about the people and places that she holds dearer than anything in this world. She writes from her heart.

It’s always been my goal to do the same. I love this Deployed Heart blog because it’s a place to share my thoughts, fears, and prayers as a military life. It’s a place to write about what God has been teaching me in this military journey. It’s a place to write what I know.

In a large sense, becoming a military wife was when I grew from a girl to a woman. I made one of the biggest decisions of my life when I said “I Do” to my husband a year and a half ago. On that day I married him, military man and all. I understood that by making this commitment I would be moving across the country and around the world. I understood that this commitment would ask a lot of my husband and I. We would have to depend on each other and God like never before. There would be lonely nights and long, never ending days. But there would also be excitement, adventure, and enough laughter to make it through the tougher times.

As I walked down to the coffee shop this morning, I looked around me, amazed at this beautiful installation my husband and I call home. Some wouldn’t find it all that pretty, but God has opened my eyes to the distinctive beauty of this place. It’s different than any other place I’ve called home. But it is home. And I’m so thankful that Spring is here. The sun was fighting to shine, hid behind a large cluster of white clouds, birds were chirping nearby, hidden away from peering eyes, and a hint of green can be seen in the middle of the wild brush along the pathway.  A few purple and white flowers were peaking through brush, whispering hello.

I’m learning with each move that the beauty is there, if only I ask God to reveal it. You see, I could live these military years glum and sullen, wishing I was closer to family and friends, or I can ask God to reveal a different, glorious part of his creation to me. I can hate the place I’m currently living, because the seasons and weather are so different from that of my childhood home, or I can ask him to teach me how to love this place, and this military life he’s given me. I can grumble about the long hours my husband works at times, or I can ask for thankfulness for the job God has blessed us with.

What about you? Has God opened your eyes to the beauty surrounding you? What is unique about the place God has planted you for this point in time?

I’ll leave you with some passages of scripture on God’s beautiful creation. Consider these words as you look at the world around you today: Psalm 104 & Psalm 148

Lord, please help me to see the beauty in your creation, each and every day.

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20
May
The Long Miles
meg

This last week I was blessed to have several family members come for a visit. It was so great to spend time with them. For me, the hardest part of this military-way-of-life is being separated from family. I love them all so much. Sometimes the miles between us seem to stretch on indefinitely. It seems like every visit is just a little too short.

I’m learning that visit’s don’t have to be planned down to the minute. Instead, it’s the times when we’re sitting around the table in the early morning, hardly awake, sipping on coffee, or playing a board come into the middle of the night, until we have to pry our eyes open with toothpicks, that are some of the most treasured moments. Yes, it’s fun to sightsee with our guests. But it’s also nice to just enjoy each other’s company. While we may stay in touch through frequent emails and phone calls, there’s nothing like seeing these people face to face. They’re a part of my husband and I. Our family is what made us who we are today. And when they leave, we’ll start thinking about the next time we can be together again.

Because looking toward the future, and clinging to God, is the only way we make it through each day. My mom has said that God gives us the grace to make it from one visit to the next. He’s given us peace knowing that we’re both where we belong, working next to our husbands in this beautiful thing called life. By giving us grace, God seems to dull the pain of separation. Yes, it still hurts, but not intolerably so. In fact, the months often tend to speed on by, until I can hardly believe that’s it’s been 6 months since I saw my family face to face. God is good that way.

This deployed heart often feels the separation, the tiny things I miss out on by being far away. Birthdays, promotions, holidays, there are so many everyday things I miss out on.

But just the same, I have a beautiful home in a beautiful city with a wonderful church filled with a surrogate family. I love my life here with my military husband. I have to trust that God truly does know best. He understands how much I miss those I love, but at the same time He’s chosen to bless me in this place. I can’t help but be thankful for that.

How do you deal with separation? How often do you keep in touch with those you love? How has God provided for you?

Lord, thank you for giving me the grace and peace to make it from one visit with family to the next. Please give me peace, knowing that I’m where I’m supposed to be.

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03
May
Psalm 91
meg

I went to a baby shower yesterday. Baby showers are always such joyful things! This was was especially wonderful because we all read blessings for the momma & baby and then prayed over them. One of the blessings was a selection of scripture: Psalm 91. This selection was appropraite not only for a little baby, but for military families as a whole. I’m only starting to learn what loneliness is like. It is in those quiet moments, when the house is dark and quiet, when I truly look to God for comfort.  I hope that each of you will do the same. For, as these verses below remind us, we have nothing to fear in this world when we’re safe in the arms of Jesus.

Psalm 91 (NIV)

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say  of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

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02
May
Letting God and Letting God
meg

I was recently reminded of how wonderful it is to Let Go and Let God be in control. As a perfectionist I like to have life in a neat little box. I don’t like any unknowns. Instead, I try my best to be in the middle of things. If I don’t know about something I read up on it until I do. This leads to a lot of uncertainty in my life when it comes to things that just can’t be answered. And what do I do when I’m uncertain? I worry. I worry about the child growing inside of me. I worry about my husband, flying high above in an airplane. I worry about my parents, living far across the country. I worry about these things because I can’t control them. I’m not sure I’ve truly ever realized that before. For as long as I can remember worrying has been a vice of mine. But I’m not sure I’ve ever connected it with a control issue. But it’s true. If it’s out of my control or knowledge, I worry.

But how do I handle this? As each of us know, there are millions of unknowns in this world. We never know if our babies will be delivered safely, if our children will do well in school, or if our husband will come home from a tdy or deployment. We can’t guarantee any of these things.

One of my blogger friends made a beautiful comparison to her little girl holding on to the playground bars, yelling for help, afraid to let go. My friend called to her, telling her to “let go,” and the little girl did. She trusted that her mamma knew best, and that she would land safely on the ground. What a beautiful image of our walk with Christ.

At times, we’re not sure where the ground is, or what will happen when we land, just the same God is calling us to “Let Go” and trust that He really does know best. He can see the ground better than we can. He is the one in control of the outcome, not us. And so he tells us to let go of our anxieties and trust that he will help us land safely. The key being that we have to let go and let Him take control.

Has God ever asked you to let go of a situation? Did you fight it? How did it feel when you finally released it to Him?

Lord Jesus, help me to let go of my tendency to control situations, and my tendency to worry when I can’t. Help me to let God and let you take control.

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