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21
Dec
Christmas Love
meg

With the military comes a good bit of traveling. Last week my husband was out of state, this week the two of us will be traveling half-way across the country to visit with family and friends. The time together will be a good one, but I’m sure it won’t be without it’s drama. What family isn’t? Isn’t that part of what makes family get-togethers so precious? Here we are, stuck together in a family for life, forced to love through flaws and shortcomings. I was reminded yesterday in church that it’s not my place to change my family, or to make their lives better, but to just simply love them. What a simple task, but we often make it so overly complicated. We think loving is such a hard thing.

To be honest, I would never have the capacity to love, if it wasn’t for Christ. He is the one who showed us all what true, sacrificial love is all about. He is the one I want to love like.

I’ll be honest, I in no way have this all figured out, but my resolution for Christmas this year is to simply love. If this means not bringing up certain issues or topic, then so be it. I’ll love, and let God do the rest.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
“Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble” (1 John 2:10).
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Category: 1 Corinthians, 1 John, John  Tags:  2 Comments
17
Dec
Safety in the Wilderness
meg

I just got back from my church’s final Ladies Bible Study of 2009. I’ve been so blessed by this group of ladies. We’ve shared so many tears, so much laughter, and so much amazement over what God is doing in our lives. Many of these ladies are older from me, so I’ve gleaned so much from their experiences. In this study we talked a lot about the wilderness journeys we all go through in this life. Just like Job in the Old Testament, we have times in our lives when it feels like everything good has been taken away from us. This wilderness time may last for weeks, or it may last for years. However long it may be, God is asking us to cling to him to make it through to the other side. When we face these wildernesses, our faith is tested immensely, but he’s asking us to look up, instead of within or around us.

For me, this wilderness began when I found out my husband was deploying. I spent many days crying and thinking all about how rough my life would be in a new town without my best friend by my side. It was only when I began to get past myself that God began to work in me. It was only when I reached up to Him and asked him for help that He reminded me that he alone holds the keys to life and death. Each of us is here on this earth for exactly as long as he has planed: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be”  (Psalm 139:16). It was extremely hard for me to accept this truth, and to be honest, I still struggle with it to this day. Just the same, it’s comforting to know that my husband is safely in the arms of Christ.

In the end, my husband’s deployment was cancelled at the last minute, but only after I gave the whole situation to Christ, and was content with whatever would happen.

To be honest, I can’t imagine life without my husband. But I know that my Lord and Savior would see me through, one step at a time.

God taught me a great lesson in trust this year, one I won’t easily forget. He made me realize that safety doesn’t come from people or circumstances, but from God alone. He is our true refuge and safety, as Psalm 46 so beautifully says.

I don’t know when my husband will be called up for a deployment again, it could be tomorrow, it could be a year from now. Either way, I know I’ll approach the next one with a different heart. I pray that God will help me be at peace through that next wilderness time, and help me to see the hope on the other end, even while the world is still dark around me.
“ We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.” (1 John 5:18-20).

Category: 1 John, Job, Psalm  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment
16
Dec
One is the loneliest number
meg

Moving across the country with the military is rough, but it’s harder still when our husbands have to leave us behind in an unknown city. Far away from friends and family, it can be the loneliest place in the world to be. That cold pillow beside you at night can bring you to tears. The food that takes a week to eat, instead of a night, slowly goes bad in the fridge. The quietness of the house is almost beyond what you can bear, so what do you do?

In Isaiah 41:10 God says these precious words:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (NIV).

It can be fearful living on your own, especially if you’ve never experienced it before. I know that I can be slightly paranoid in a dark house, double checking windows and doors, and locking myself in my room before I go to sleep. There’s a certain safety that goes away when my husband isn’t home. It’s easy for me to get caught up in the loneliness and fear. Just the same, Isaiah 41 reminds us that God is there, ready and willing to help us through the loneliest times of our lives. He promises to hold us up when we can hardly stand on our own, and to help us make it through another day. He will always be beside us in this life, even when our husbands cannot. He is the only one who will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). And so, it’s oh so important, dear sisters, that we trust in Him.
Dear Lord, thank you that you are by my side, even on the loneliest of days.

Category: Deuteronomy, Isaiah  Tags:  Leave a Comment
15
Dec
Joy in the Simple Things
meg

This morning I sat downstairs on the couch sipping on some tea and enjoying our Christmas tree. Our tree is decorated with a mixture of heirloom and handmade ornaments. It’s crazy, miss-matched, and perfect for us. Beneath the tree were several wrapped packages, waiting for our Christmas morning. As I looked at those gifts, I was filled with anticipation. Yes, even now as an adult, I’m still excited for presents. I’m excited to give and to receive gifts from my loved ones. I’m excited to create new memories that I’ll cherish for years to come. I know there will be years when my military husband is far across the globe, and so I’m oh so thankful for this year. This will be a year that I’ll hold dear for those times when he’s not so close.

For me, Christmas is such a joyful time. It’s a time of giving and receiving. I time to see loved ones who live far away and to eat lots of food. It’s the time of year that memories are made of. And most of all, it’s a time to give thanks for the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ.

There will be some years when it will be harder to find joy during the holiday season. I’ll be filled with loneliness and wishing things were different. I’ll be wishing that my husband was close by my side, instead of in another country.  I’ll be wishing for so many things, and holding on to the memories of years like this.

So for today, I will chose to find joy in the simple things such as hot tea, Christmas lights, presents, and a husband who loves me.  Tomorrow is in God’s hands.

This post was written as a part of Tuesday’s Unrapped at www.chattingatthesky.com.

Category: Uncategorized  3 Comments
15
Dec
TDY
meg

I’ll admit it here and now, I’m not a fan of TDYs, (temporary duty assignments). They’re often last minute and throw all of our plans out of whack. Just the same, I recognize that they’re just one more way that I have to learn to be more flexible and supportive as a military wife.

It’s tough at times being home alone, managing the household finances, and keeping life rolling while my husband is away. I miss his company, his voice, and even his smelly clothes while he’ away. Just the same, I’ve found reasons to be the thankful for TDYs.

How can I be thankful, you ask? Because with TDYs my husband is more than likely still in the states and will be home in a matter of days or weeks, instead of the long months in a deployment. With TDYs I feel as if my husband is still relatively close by. If I really needed him, I could jump on a plane and be with him in a matter of hours. With TDYs my husband is just on a military business trip, relatively safe and sound and another military institution in the States. When I look at the scope of things, TDYs really aren’t that bad.

For me it’s all about support and flexibility. I can’t change when my husband is leaving or how long he’ll be gone. That’s completely out of my hands. What is up to me is my attitude. I can whine, complain and cry about him leaving. I can be miserable on the phone whenever he calls and make him not want to be home. Or I can be encouraging, kind, and uplifting, telling him time and again how much I miss him and love him. The second would make him want to come home all the quicker, wouldn’t it?

Who knows when my husband will be gone again, for today I chose to be the supporting, loving wife I know I can be, deep inside. I chose to act out the “Love Chapter” in 1 Corinthians 13. I encourage you to pry open your Bible today and read this special chapter. Then leave a comment and let me know what you got out of it. Loving and encouraging our husbands is a full time job, whether they’re next to us or in a completely different country.

Category: 1 Corinthians  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
01
Dec
Traveling: A Military Way of Life
meg

We drove 21 hours to get to Thanksgiving. I’ve never lived so far away from family before. It was certainly a sacrifice to drive that far, but we both needed to be there. We needed to be surrounded by familiar faces, warm arms, and lots of good food. We needed to celebrate this holiday with some of the people that meant the world to us.
And so we got in our car early one morning, set our GPS to our destination, and munched on chex mix for the next 10 hours. After a nights rest, we drove 8 more hours, stopped to see some family, and then drove the last three to my husband’s boyhood home.
This traveling is a new, adventurous part of the military life for me. It taxes the faculties and emotions as the hours wear on. As we drove across the country I’ll admit it, I wasn’t always the most congenial traveling companion. Sometimes I was downright cranky. It’s much harder to love my husband after 10 hours of sitting in a car together.
Even in my crankiest moments, I felt God whispering to me, reminding me to love. I felt God reminding me that it’s easy to build up walls of resentment in a marriage, but so much harder to break them down. I felt God reminding me to hold my tongue and take a nap, instead of berating my husband in my weary state.
I’m slowly learning the hard lesson of holding my tongue. I’m slowly learning that it’s much better to hold those words back, it causes a lot less damage in the long run. (For more on the tongue, read James 1&3).
I’m learning how to find joy in the silly moments when we’re both exhausted, navigating through an unknown town.
I’m learning to be thankful for the moments my husband and I spent in the car, with just the two of us, as we drove a total of 42 hours in a matter of days.
Those moments together could have torn us apart, if I’d released all of the fire of my tongue. Instead, they were a time of bonding, and enjoying each other’s company to the fullest.

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10
Nov
You Are My Strength When I Am Weak
meg

I was sick, really sick, like you don’t want the details gross kind of sick. At first, my husband was a wonderful helper, getting me ginger ale from the store, retrieving ice packs from the freezer and putting different DVDs in for me to watch. It was wonderful having him there to take care of me. And then, the inevitable happened, he got sick too.
Now I don’t handle sickness on a good day. Just imagine how I felt now that we were both on our backs on the couch, neither of us feeling like we could help the other at all. It wasn’t fun. Just the same, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to be there for my husband. I needed to get him wet rags and cups of ginger ale and the throw blanket from over in the corner . I need to love with a sacrificial kind of love, the kind of love that would take care of my husband even when I myself was feeling pretty sick. This was the first time loving my husband was truly a sacrifice for me. For the most part loving him is pretty enjoyable. This wasn’t, so I definitely need some help from God.
And so I prayed to God to help us through this day. I prayed to God to help me find the strength to care for my husband and to love him with a truly sacrificial love.
And amazingly I did it. I still wasn’t completely well, but God gave me the strength to do the menial tasks that needed to be accomplished. I cleaned up after us, kept our glasses filled with ginger ale, and with the help of God made it through the rest of our day of sickness.
I don’t think that God made us sick on Sunday. But I do think he had something very important to teach me on that day. He wanted me to truly see what sacrificial love feels like, and what it’s like to depend on Him to get from one moment to the next. This isn’t a lesson I’ll forget very soon.

Here are some verses that were on my heart today. I hope they bless you too:
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Isaiah 40:29 NIV)
“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35 NIV).
“Love is patient, love is kind…. it is not self-seeking…. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-5,7-8 NIV)

Category: 1 Corinthians, Isaiah, Mark  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
06
Nov
An Anointing of Joy
meg

Joy is a choice, isn’t it? I’ve always assumed that a person chooses how to address a situation. They can choose to be joyful, or they can choose to be critical. They can choose to have their cup half full or choose to have it half empty empty. I had never thought of joy as a gift from God, until now.
It happened in church. We were singing a song, asking for God to anoint us with the oil of joy. The image stuck. I’ve loved this picture of anointing ever since.
This image of anointing crops up in Psalm 45:7 and Hebrews 1:9. Here’s what it says in the New Testament: “But about the Son he says, ‘Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever, and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.’” (Hebrews 1:8-9).
Blue Letter Bible, one of my favorite online references says this about this image: “At feasts, people were anointed with the ‘oil of gladness’. Hebrews 1:9 alludes to this inaugural ceremony of anointing, and uses it as an emblem of the divine power and majesty to which to which the Son of God has been exalted.”
Isn’t this a wonderful image? Wouldn’t it be great if we anointed each other with the oil of joy in our gatherings today? I would love to have even a drip of this oil.
At times I live my life in such a rush. I run from one thing to the next, worrying how I’ll ever get it all done. I don’t often take time to truly stop and praise God for this wonderful life he has given me. He has given my husband a solid job in the military, one that fits him like a glove. He has given us a church family, a home, and dear extended family to look forward to over the holidays. He has given us a solid income so that we can pay our bills each month. And he has given us a great love for each other that only grows with time. I have so much to be joyful about. So much to praise my Savoir for, but I often don’t.
On my own I’m an overworked, crazy mess. I try to be joyful on my own, but I’m often too anxious about getting everything done. I need a joy that can only be bestowed by my Savoir. I need a joyfulness that only comes from him, and won’t diminish with time. I need to be anointed with joy today.
What about you?

Category: Hebrews, Psalm  2 Comments
03
Nov
Holiday Excitement
meg

The holidays have an entirely different feeling now that I’m married and living halfway across the country. While I used to spend every single holiday with my family, now these times are split between my hubby’s family and my own. There’s a bit of bitter-sweetness that comes with this aspect military life. No longer am I several hours away from my parents, but instead states upon states separate us. That’s why the holidays are so exciting to me. The next to months will be filled with hugs, food, and stories from the past. It will also be full of packages, suitcases, and Christmas secrets. I can hardly wait!
Believe it or not I’m already working on my Christmas gifts. I decided to get a head start since I’m going the homemade route this year. This brings with it a lot of joy and a lot of stress. I want my gifts to be perfect, so it frustrates me when I once again read the directions wrong and have to tear out all of the seams on a sewing project. I did this last week, and left the project in disgust, not coming back to it this morning.
I could have grumbled this morning as I sat tearing out seams, but I didn’t. Instead, I enjoyed the quiet morning and put on some Christmas music as I was seam ripping. (Yes, I know, it’s a bit early for such music but I can’t help it, I love the holidays that much!). Instead of dwelling on the tediousness of the task, I thought about how my relative would look when they saw this finished gift. I know their eyes will light up, and they’ll be full of thankfulness, not because it’s perfect, but because I made it for them. That, to me, is part of what Christmas is all about. It’s about loved ones, giving to others, and celebrating the ultimate gift God gave to us in his Son Jesus Christ. So for today, instead of grumbling, I’m looking forward to the blessings of the holidays, and trying not to stress about all the little details.

This blog was posted as a part of Chatting at the Sky’s Tuesdays Unwrapped.

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02
Nov
The Proverbs 31 Wife/Military Wife
admin

One of my significant roles, as a military wife, is that of money manager. I’m not a math wiz, but it seemed to make sense for me to budget our money each month. Beside the fact that I do the largest amount of spending, ahem, this is also in preparation for future deployments. Whenever my husband deploys, it will be up to me to pay all the bills and keep things in order. If I don’t learn how to do this now, while I can ask my husband questions, our finances could be in dire straights later on in our marriage, when an ocean separates us for extended periods of time.
To be honest, we haven’t always had a perfect handle on things. With just the two of us, we have more money on our hands than ever before. We’ve been married for almost 14 months now, and this is the first month that we truly, completely stayed within our budget. How victorious! It feels so wonderful. It’s been a hard battle setting up a household budget. We’ve had to stretch money from one category to another, seeing where money was needed and where it needed to be saved. It’s wonderful to know that we’re on track as we go into the holiday season.

Why is managing money so important to us, you may ask? Because we believe that God has called us to be good stewards of what he has blessed us with here on this earth. Consider the Proverbs 31 woman. She provides food for her family (vs. 15), makes wise money investments (vs. 16, 18), gives to those in need (vs. 19), and always makes sure her own family is well clothed (vs. 20).
By being a good steward and managing our household affairs, I can make sure that our family is always taken care of. My husband has the immense job of earning a living for us, but my job is equally important in making sure that that money is spent wisely. It’s a career in and of itself.

How does your family manage money? Does God have any part in your finances?

Category: Proverbs  Tags:  Leave a Comment
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