Not too long ago a dear friend of mine from college lost her brother. I can’t begin to imagine the grief she and the rest of her family must be feeling right now. My own brother is so very dear to me. She must be feeling such a sense of loss right now. This brother of hers was serving his country over seas. He was fighting for a controversial cause that has this nation torn in two. Just the same, I’m proud that he was over there, doing what he felt called to do.

The Bible says that only God knows the number of our days (Psalm 139:16). With my husband in the military, I have to hold on to this truth. I have to trust that even in the midst of evil, God holds the future of my husband and myself in his hands.

But I’m sure it doesn’t make the pain and loss any easier for this family, nor would it for me.

As I was looking through pictures people are posting of this departed brother, I smiled at all the funny ones, teared up at the more sentimental ones, but was struck most of all by one simple picture. On this man’s back was a tattoo of Psalm 91. The very Psalm that has spoken to me and so many of my military friends. Here’s what this wonderful Psalm says,

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation (NIV).

This world is a scary place. Throughout our lives there will be many things we face that seem impossible. But God is there. Just as I have to trust that he was there with my friend’s brother on that fateful day. He did not fail to protect him, but decided to take him home, to heaven, in that moment. No, I don’t understand why, I probably never will, but I do know that He grants eternal life to all those who believe. So this Psalm rings true, even for those He decides to take home.

This hasn’t been an easy post to write. Please don’t think I have all the answers, because I don’t. I’m only a girl, serving my Savior, and trying to make some sort of sense of this crazy life. At times, all I can really do is pray for those in pain, that God will meet them where they are.

A final note to my friend: I’ll leave you anonymous for the privacy of you and your family, but please know I’m praying for you today. Please know that my heart reaches out to you during this tough season, and that, through it all, God is still God, ready and waiting to carry you.

Anne of Green Gables is one of my favorite fictional characters. She’s witty, imaginative, and has a great love of writing, just like me. Anne struggles to find her place in the writing world. She writes far-fetched romance stories that have little to do with her actual reality. It’s only when she’s encouraged to “write what she knows” that she succeeds as an author. She writes about the people and places that she holds dearer than anything in this world. She writes from her heart.

It’s always been my goal to do the same. I love this Deployed Heart blog because it’s a place to share my thoughts, fears, and prayers as a military life. It’s a place to write about what God has been teaching me in this military journey. It’s a place to write what I know.

In a large sense, becoming a military wife was when I grew from a girl to a woman. I made one of the biggest decisions of my life when I said “I Do” to my husband a year and a half ago. On that day I married him, military man and all. I understood that by making this commitment I would be moving across the country and around the world. I understood that this commitment would ask a lot of my husband and I. We would have to depend on each other and God like never before. There would be lonely nights and long, never ending days. But there would also be excitement, adventure, and enough laughter to make it through the tougher times.

As I walked down to the coffee shop this morning, I looked around me, amazed at this beautiful installation my husband and I call home. Some wouldn’t find it all that pretty, but God has opened my eyes to the distinctive beauty of this place. It’s different than any other place I’ve called home. But it is home. And I’m so thankful that Spring is here. The sun was fighting to shine, hid behind a large cluster of white clouds, birds were chirping nearby, hidden away from peering eyes, and a hint of green can be seen in the middle of the wild brush along the pathway.  A few purple and white flowers were peaking through brush, whispering hello.

I’m learning with each move that the beauty is there, if only I ask God to reveal it. You see, I could live these military years glum and sullen, wishing I was closer to family and friends, or I can ask God to reveal a different, glorious part of his creation to me. I can hate the place I’m currently living, because the seasons and weather are so different from that of my childhood home, or I can ask him to teach me how to love this place, and this military life he’s given me. I can grumble about the long hours my husband works at times, or I can ask for thankfulness for the job God has blessed us with.

What about you? Has God opened your eyes to the beauty surrounding you? What is unique about the place God has planted you for this point in time?

I’ll leave you with some passages of scripture on God’s beautiful creation. Consider these words as you look at the world around you today: Psalm 104 & Psalm 148

Lord, please help me to see the beauty in your creation, each and every day.

I went to a baby shower yesterday. Baby showers are always such joyful things! This was was especially wonderful because we all read blessings for the momma & baby and then prayed over them. One of the blessings was a selection of scripture: Psalm 91. This selection was appropraite not only for a little baby, but for military families as a whole. I’m only starting to learn what loneliness is like. It is in those quiet moments, when the house is dark and quiet, when I truly look to God for comfort.  I hope that each of you will do the same. For, as these verses below remind us, we have nothing to fear in this world when we’re safe in the arms of Jesus.

Psalm 91 (NIV)

Hello Everyone. I hope you all had a blessed Easter. I know we did. For the second year in a row we found ourselves moving, right at the beginning of April. Thankfully this move was only an across-town-move, but it was a move just the same. With my husband at work today, I found myself alone in a new house with stacks of boxes waiting to be unpacked. It could become an overwhelming, stressful task, if I let it. Instead, I chose to be thankful today for this beautiful new house that we’re living in. Yes, it’s a rental, but for once we’re the first people to live in it, how great is that? I’m also thankful for the chance to sort through all of our stuff and un-clutter a bit. We’re both packrats, so the un-cluttering is very needed. In the military I’m sure I’ll spend more hours than I can count unpacking boxes. Sometimes those days unpacking will be extremely lonely. But the truth remains that God follows us through each and every move. As David in Psalm 139 so beautiful puts it: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast” (vs. 7-10, NIV).
Aren’t you glad that God follows us wherever we may go in this life? What are you thankful for today?

This year will bring a lot of changes to our family. In September we’ll welcome our first child into the world. The responsibility that comes with this is somewhat scary.

Before we know it our family will consist of more than just two independent adults. We’ll have a little child to clothe, shelter, and rear up in a godly home. More than anything I want my child to know how much God loves him or her. I want this child to know that they are beautifully and uniquely created to do great things. It’s amazing to think that, while this baby is inside of my tummy, all of his or her days are already written down.

Psalm 139 gives us a glorious picture of this. When you have a moment, pick it up and read through it for yourself. I never stop to be amazed at the intricacy of Gods plan.

I know that life with this child won’t always be roses and sugar plums. This child will scream, have tantrums, and lie to us from time to time. This child will be a sinful little person in need of Savior, just like each of us.

Just the same, I believe that God has created my military husband and I to be the perfect parents for this little one. As unprepared as I may feel, I have to believe that God truly has given me the tools I need to be a good mother, mentor, and friend to this child. What I lack, He will teach me along the way, through scripture, through prayer, and through godly friends that He gives me along the road.

One thing I’m already finding in this military life is that God gives me the friends I need at each new place. Every time we move, God blesses us in a new way with new amazing Christian role models that teach us a different lesson in life, love and worship. This doesn’t mean I don’t miss my old friends, I still long for their companionship and love. Just the same, I have to believe that God goes before us each and every day.

While my friends may be far away, I’m so thankful for the life God has given us in this new town. I’m thankful for the new friendships we’re forming here, and for this life growing inside of me.

Even with the ugly weather outside the window, I can’t help but smile at how amazing God is  and for all the wonderful promises for tomorrow.