My emotions have been on such a roller coaster as of late. I’ll have one day when I’m soaring as high as the clouds, and then the next will be extremely melancholy. You could blame it on pregnancy I suppose, but I also think it’s a fact of life. It’s a part of who I am as a woman and a child of God. Sometimes I think that all God wants is a willing heart, even on the good and bad days.
I’ve been trying so hard to be patient as of late, as I wait for this little one to arrive. It’s extremely hard at times. I’m now only a week away from my due date, so I wake up every morning wondering if today will be the day. I’m so obsessed with this baby coming that I think and over analyze every little sensation. I tend to focus on the baby and all my aches and pains, instead of looking outside of myself at the world around me.
I’ve felt a huge pull this week to simply be thankful.
And yesterday was the perfect type of day to be thankful for.
My husband had the day off (hooray for holiday weekends!) so we woke up in the morning, had some cinnamon rolls and coffee, and then took a walk outside. The sun was bright, the air was crisp, and the conversation was wonderful. I sometimes forget how much I truly enjoy my husband’s company. He’s so enjoyable to talk too!
After our walk we sat at the kitchen table and chatted about this and that. I was able to express some of my fears and concerns, and he was able to express his as well. I think we spent most of the day just talking. Some of the talk was random, some of it was serious, but it was so wonderful not to have a list of a million things to accomplish, but to instead just enjoy each others company.
Yesterday I was thankful just being.
Just being pregnant for one more day.
Just feeling the baby move.
Just enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze, hinting at Fall.
Just being my husband’s best friend and confident.
Just being me, faults and all.
Just being a daughter of the King.

What is a perfect day to you? What would it involve or not involve? Do you ever enjoy just being you?

Since I was a little girl I’ve dreamed of being a writer and a teacher. I went to college unsure of what to study, and settled on English, since it was the perfect outlet to explore my love of reading and writing. Grad school followed, where I continued in this vein, with dreams of being a college professor on the horizon. But my first experience at teaching didn’t go so well. The kids in the classroom weren’t quite as enthused as I thought they would be. Soon, my self-esteem began to sink, and I wondered if being a professor really was my calling. And so I turned to copy-editing, another dream of mine. This, too, ended on a sour note. In desperation I looked around, wondering what God had in store.

But He had a plan in mind. And that plan was to let go. That plan was to become a military wife and mother, and leave the rest of the future up to him. That plan was to place me at home, where I would have time to read my Bible, invest in my family, and learn how to write in new, exciting ways.

And you know what, I’m ok with that. No, I’m not bringing in the big bucks as a college professor or editing up a storm in a news room, but I’m happy. I have time to keep my home clean, spend time with God each day, and prepare for this coming baby. And I feel as if God is slowly opening up a door when it comes to writing. I’ve found that I love blogging and reading other people’s blogs. I’ve even tried my hand at submitting some work to some Christian publications.

My dreams haven’t disappeared, they’ve just slowly been changing and evolving over time. What I thought I wanted and what God knew I needed were once two very different things. But now, slowly, those dreams are becoming realized.

I’m so blessed, this life I live as a military wife. I wouldn’t change it for anything. And so, I’m excited to see how God will use my gifts for His glory in future years. Perhaps I will teach or copy edit again, or perhaps I’ll simply be a military wife and mother, which is a pretty good life, if you ask me.

I’m a ready and willing vessel, which is exactly where God wants me.

I’ll admit it: I’ve kind of let the house go since I became pregnant. I do my best to keep up on things, but in general, things are just a bit more messy and disorganized than they used to be.
Just the same, I still strive to make home a place my husband wants to come home too. I still greet him at the door with a kiss and a smile on my face. I still have something planned for dinner, even if my husband has to help cook the food a little more these days. I still keep on the laundry and grocery shopping, so that my husband is always clothed and well fed. But I’ve let the carpets and bathrooms get quite dirty. I just can’t keep up on everything.
Although I often feel discouraged when I look around the house, I’m so thankful that my husband is giving me a bit of grace these days. He understands that I have less energy overall, and just can’t bend over as easily. He understands that the house will just have to be less than perfect from now on. In fact, he really doesn’t care. He’s just happy to be home, with me.
It’s my own perfectionism that has set these unrealistic standards. It’s because of my perfectionism that I often beat myself up for not finishing all the tasks on my lists. It’s not my husband. It’s me.
I know when this child comes I’ll have to embrace a new type of lifestyle. Even then the house will never be as perfect as I want it to be. But even then, I still want my husband to come home to a slightly messy house filled with love and peace.
How I’m going to accomplish this, I don’t quite now, but I do know it will involve a lot of prayer.
How do you deal with all of the daily tasks around the house? How do you balance it all, without going crazy? Have you found any verses that encourage you?

I am awful at making new friends. Blame it on my shyness, or my introvert nature, or the fact that I just love being in my own house, in the midst of my own things. No matter the case, there’s still no excuse for me sometimes. I have chances to reach out to others, and I ignore them. I have felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit time and again, and I turn a deaf ear.

I know it’s wrong. I know that I need to try harder, but I often don’t.

But then I think about all the times I did reach out. I think about all the friendships I’ve had over the years that have blessed me in so many ways.

There was my friend in high school who used to pass notes with me between classes. We played soccer together, baked concoctions that might be identified as cookies, and had a deep love for NSYNC. She was a special friend, in a special time of my life. Although we may live over a thousand miles away, she’ll always be important to me.

There were my kindred spirit friends in college. From day one we found ourselves bonded together through a new adventure in life. We share secrets and dreams, crammed for tests, and laughed at the silliest things. I have so many great memories with these girls.

There were my coffee friends, people I would meet once a week or so over a cup of joe to talk about school, love, relationships, and God. Some of these girls were in college with me, some in grad school, and some even here in my new home. Coffee is such a great way for girls to connect. I’ll never get tired of chatting about everything under the sun at a cafe or at someone’s house. It’s such a blessing to me!

Yet, I still struggle when the military moves us to a new location. I look over my shoulder and compare those friends from the past with my present reality. I miss what is behind me, instead of looking at what God has given me in the here and now.

In the midst of all this, God gave me a small blessing today. My neighbor and I had a chat on the phone, in which she expressed her desire to throw me a baby shower. She, and the other girls in our community, wanted to bless me this way. ME! The girl who has barely gotten out of her comfort zone enough to say hello to her neighbors. ME! The shy one, who has yet to learn most of her neighbors names. I’ve hardly reached out to them at all, yet they want to do something for me.

I’m so undeserving. And so utterly grateful. Once again God has shown His love to me in a practical way. He’s encouraged my neighbor to reach out to me, when I was afraid to. He’s helped start a new friendship in my life, which I’m so thankful for.

What a day this has been!