Author Archive

02
Nov
The Proverbs 31 Wife/Military Wife
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One of my significant roles, as a military wife, is that of money manager. I’m not a math wiz, but it seemed to make sense for me to budget our money each month. Beside the fact that I do the largest amount of spending, ahem, this is also in preparation for future deployments. Whenever my husband deploys, it will be up to me to pay all the bills and keep things in order. If I don’t learn how to do this now, while I can ask my husband questions, our finances could be in dire straights later on in our marriage, when an ocean separates us for extended periods of time.
To be honest, we haven’t always had a perfect handle on things. With just the two of us, we have more money on our hands than ever before. We’ve been married for almost 14 months now, and this is the first month that we truly, completely stayed within our budget. How victorious! It feels so wonderful. It’s been a hard battle setting up a household budget. We’ve had to stretch money from one category to another, seeing where money was needed and where it needed to be saved. It’s wonderful to know that we’re on track as we go into the holiday season.

Why is managing money so important to us, you may ask? Because we believe that God has called us to be good stewards of what he has blessed us with here on this earth. Consider the Proverbs 31 woman. She provides food for her family (vs. 15), makes wise money investments (vs. 16, 18), gives to those in need (vs. 19), and always makes sure her own family is well clothed (vs. 20).
By being a good steward and managing our household affairs, I can make sure that our family is always taken care of. My husband has the immense job of earning a living for us, but my job is equally important in making sure that that money is spent wisely. It’s a career in and of itself.

How does your family manage money? Does God have any part in your finances?

Category: Proverbs  Tags:  Leave a Comment
15
Oct
Moment By Moment
admin

Hello friends.
Can I admit something today? I’m awful at being flexible. I have plans, a list, and a schedule and I hate deviating from it.  The other night I had dinner on the table and found myself getting all bent out of shape when my husband was late getting home from work. It was a silly thing, nothing my husband really had any control over, but I found myself getting mad just the same.
I found myself at a decision point. I had a choice. Would I be the  “sweet wife” when my husband finally made it home or would I be “bitter wife” and make my husband think twice about ever late again.
I want my husband to love walking through the door each night, not having to wonder if I’m going to bite his head off or not. I want him to look forward to that moment he comes home and I give him a big hug and a peck on the cheek. I want him to look forward to those times. And so, I have to be flexible, even when I don’t want to be.
And so I picked “sweet wife,” choosing not to stay disgruntled but instead to keep dinner warm and wait patiently for him to walk through the door.
My attitude wasn’t completely fixed then though. For the rest of the evening those feelings of resentment kept poking up and I had to make a choice once again. Satan was having a heyday with my “flexibility issues” and trying over and over again to get me upset. It was seriously a battle filled evening of me continually having to turn back to the truths of God and reminding myself how much I loved my husband.
Do you ever have days like this? When you have to choose over and over again how you’re going to respond to a situation? Do you ever feel as if you are living life one breath at a time? Are there any areas where God is calling you to be more flexible?

Category: Uncategorized  Tags:  Leave a Comment
30
Sep
Flexibility and Love
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The Love Chapter, in 1 Corinthians 13, holds a special place in my heart. Not too long ago I spoke these words to my husband, as we stood in front of family and friends and pledged our lives to each other. I promised to love him this way, but I often fall short when it comes to this type of Godly love.
My selfish tendencies often overtake my desire to love my husband wholeheartedly. This problem is amplified when it comes to his career in the military. At times, I am anything but loving and supportive. I am anything but flexible.
I tried to look up the word “flexible” in the Bible, but nothing came up. And so, instead, I decided to look harder at 1 Corinthians 13. I found three phrases there that seem to correlate with the trait of flexibility:
These phrases tell us that love: “does not seek it’s own,” “endures all things,” “never fails” (NASB Version).
This is the kind of love I strive to have for myself.
But what do these above phrases mean?
Let’s delve a bit deeper and look at their original meaning the Greek.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance is my good friend when it comes to looking up the original meaning of the words. Here’s what I found for each of these phrases:

1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that Love “Does not seek it’s own.” The Greek word for “does not seek” is zēteo. So this phrase is telling us that Love does not crave, or demand something from someone.
Wow, this is a tough one. I know that I often make demands of my husband that he can’t fulfill because of his job. I want him to call me during the day, come home early just to be with me, and spend the entire weekend going places with me, entertaining my every whim. But this verse seems to be saying that true love doesn’t look like this. It seems to be saying that I shouldn’t demand things from my husband, but should instead focus on doing things for him.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that Love “endures all things.” I was so excited when I looked up these words. First, the Greek word for “endures” is hypomenō, which means to remain, to bear bravely and calmly. The word used for “all things” is pas which simply means “everything.”
True love remains through everything, good times and bad, times of deployment, and times of safety, times of stress and times of peace. True love goes through these times calmly, knowing that God will provide.
This isn’t easy, I’ll admit. At times, I am anything but calm. I stress, I worry, and I make like more difficult overall. God is slowly working on me when it comes to this sort of love. I know that I need to be flexible and love my husband through the tough times.
1 Corinthians 13:8 says that love “never fails.” The Greek word for “never” is oudepote which simply means never. The Greek word for “fails” is piptō which means to perish, i.e. come to an end, disappear, cease. In other words “never fails” means to never come to an end.
True love never ends. It always perseveres, through good times and bad. Our society today seems to believe that people fall in and out of love. God’s word tells us that agape love never ceases to exist.
My paraphrased version of theses three love above attributes is this:
Love does not crave or demand something from someone. It remains through everything. Love never comes to an end.
What does this mean to me? It means that I will need God’s help immensely in order to love my husband this way. I can’t do it on my own. If I tried, I would fail. But instead, I depend on God to see me through each day. I ask him to help me love my spouse, to help me remain constant through the touch times, and to put his needs before my own.
As I remain through those tough times, I ask God for flexibility. I ask him to give me a heart that can support my husband and whatever changes may come up in our day-to-day life. I don’t hold onto my own plans and goals too much, but instead, ask God to help me follow wherever my husband may lead.

Category: 1 Corinthians  Tags: ,  One Comment
30
Sep
Respect and Flexiblity?
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I may not always like it, but our life together revolves around the military. I may not have chosen this life, but I chose the man, knowing very well what came with the package. I may not understand it, but this life in the military is part of my husband’s calling.
And so I respect the decision he makes, when he goes to work each morning.
I respect the dedication it takes to go work in the strict military environment.
I respect the place God has put us in this life.
I respect my husband’s career, even when I hate that it takes him away from me from time to time.
I respect the military, because I respect my husband.
I respect my husband because that is what Ephesians 5:33 calls me to do: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).
And what does respecting our husbands have to do with flexibility, you may be asking by now?
Everything.

I’m flexible because I understand and respect the changing environment of my husband’s job.
I’m flexible because I view the military as part of my husband’s calling.
I’m flexible out of my very love and respect for my husband and his career.
I’m flexible because God gives me the strength to face those tough days.
I’m flexible because I feel that God has called me to be a supportive military wife.

Is flexibility hard for you at times? What specific area do you need God’s help with today?

Lord, please help me to be more flexible when it comes to my husband’s career in the military. Help me to respect him and his calling.

Category: Ephesians  Tags: ,  2 Comments
24
Sep
Flexibility: susceptible of modification or adaptation
admin

I am a planner. I love my lists, love having my life in order, and love knowing exactly when my husband will come home each night. If I could, I would have dinner hot and ready, waiting on the table when he walks in the door.
I tried that once. The meal was cold by the time my husband got home. I’m sure he wishes he could be home at the exact same time every night, but life in the military can be very unpredictable at times.
A month ago my husband answered his phone, and found out that he had been nominated to fill an empty spot overseas. He was deploying out of the blue, just like that. A few weeks later he went into work, only to find that his position over seas had been deleted. They no longer needed him. Just like that, he was no longer going. Who knows what he’ll find out today or tomorrow.
I’m starting to find that it’s not my place to be upset by these sudden changes. Yes, they may not line up with what I have planned, but I have to adapt just the same.
As I was thinking about adapting, I started to wonder what the Bible has to say on this subject.
Here are a few verses I found interesting:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:13-15 NIV).
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1 NIV).
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34 NIV).
I could go crazy thinking about what would happen if my husband deployed today, but instead I’ll just look forward to the nice evening we’ll have tonight, eating dinner, playing games, and just enjoying each other’s company. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
Only God knows what will happen tomorrow. We really have little control over what will transpire. So we shouldn’t spend each day worrying and stewing over what might happen, instead we should just praise God for the moments we have today.
In an unpredictable world, there’s only so much we can plan. Things happen everyday that our out of our control. It’s so wonderful to know that in this inconsistent world, we have a constant God:
“In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end” (Psalm 102:25-27 NIV).
God remains solid when the rest of the world tilts around us. So for today, I’ll hold onto the truth that he will be there, every day to help me through life’s twists and turns.

Category: James, Matthew, Proverbs, Psalm  Tags: ,  2 Comments
23
Sep
That thing called flexiblity
admin

His war was canceled.
The bags were packed. The initial hysterical crying was done. We had prepared ourselves emotionally and mentally for this deployment. My husband had one day of work left. And then he found out. His tasking was canceled. He was no longer deploying. After a month of preparing, he had to return all of his gear and go back to work.
Our family and friends were elated. They cheered over the fact that my hubby would be around for Christmas this year. I feel bad admitting that my response was a little less enthusiastic.
I felt something closer to shock. For the first time, I was experiencing a thing called “flexibility.” This word is something I’m sure I’ll experience much of over the years.
My husband will be called upon again to fulfill his duty. It could be tomorrow; it could be three months from now. Whenever that is, I’m learning that I’ll have to be flexible and supportive. We may be throwing a party, about to leave on a trip, or planning for a baby, but he’ll have to leave just the same. Whenever he’s called up again, it won’t matter if “I” want him to go or not. Actually, it won’t even matter if he “wants” to go. The question will more likely be, “can” he go and fulfill this part of his job description, the part I’m sure no military family completely enjoys. The question is also how I’ll respond to such deployments.
I’m now starting to learn how much of a support and encourager I’ll have to be to my husband in future years. I’ll have to be the strength, holding together our home whenever he’s away.
I also know it will only be through the peace and strength of God that I’ll make it through such times.
I have so much to learn about life as a military wife. I hope you’ll stay with me on this journey. Over the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring life on the home front, and what it truly means to be a flexible, supportive military wife. Please feel free to share your insight, and any verses that you have clung to over the years. I always love to hear what you have to say.

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15
Sep
Be still
admin

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:13b-14).

As I read these verses, I started to think about all the things I worry about on a daily basis… the list was a long one. It includes everyday things, like the dirtiness of my house, balancing the budget, finishing an article, and bigger things, like military deployment. I worry about the future, if I’ll be a good mother, how we’ll provide for a family, if my future children will know their grandparents. I stew about things that have yet to come to pass, forgetting about God’s unending provision up until now.

And then I’m reminded of the words of Moses in Exodus 14. In this passage of scripture the Israelites have just escaped from the hands of the Egyptians. They have seen God’s miraculous miracles, yet they are still fearful of what lies ahead. Instead of trusting God, they panic and want to return to slavery in Egypt. Moses tells them to do one thing: be still. He doesn’t tell them to fight, he doesn’t tell them to stay busy and do as much work as possible, he just tells them to be still and watch for the deliverance of the Lord.

Today I need deliverance from my own worries and fears. With the possibility of my own husband fighting a war overseas, I can be fearful and distraught, or I can trust that the Lord will deliver my husband from harms way. I can worry about my future role as a parent, or I can trust that God will be my deliverer even then. I can fret and complain, or I can be still and let God work. The choice is always there. Sometimes I hold onto my fears, other times I let go.

Today, I’m ready to let God fight my battles, both big and small. What about you? What battles, physical, mental, or spiritual, are you facing today? Where do you need to be still and let God take control?

Category: Exodus  Tags:  Leave a Comment
01
Sep
Take Heart
admin

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD” (Psalm 31:24 NIV).

What is hope? To me, hope is trusting that the Lord always knows best. I say this easily right now, with my husband sitting next to me on the couch, but I have to admit that sometimes hope is a little harder to hold onto. I don’t look forward to the times when my dear spouse is deployed over seas. One day soon I will be experiencing the pain of separation, but I would hope, even then, that God will be my strength and my song.
For me, hope is believing that God will provide. He is the one that sees the beginning, and the end of this tough life we live on earth. There are times when I definitely need strength from him to make it through the day. There are times when my heart is breaking, and I need him to hold onto to it and help me take one step at a time.
What about you, do you need a reminder that God will provide? Do you need a reminder that he is always there, in good times and in bad? Put your hope in him my friends, for he is the only one that will never fail you. He will be your comforter and friend when no one else is around to feel your pain. He will be your salvation, if you let him.
He will take your heart, that feels like it deployed with your spouse, and hold it in his hands. Trust me, there’s no better place to be.
Be strong and take heart in Him.

For more blog posts about hope, check out http://www.incourage.me/

Category: Uncategorized  3 Comments
24
Aug
Survive or Thrive?
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Right now I want to cram every last memory into these final weeks before the deployment.  There seems to be a part of me thinks that I’ll stop living while my husband is gone. There will certainly be fewer memories, fewer things to take pictures of. But will life really be on a giant pause while he’s away? Will I seriously sit around and do nothing while he’s gone?
Or will I continue to love every moment of this life God has given me?
Will I sit and home and count the hours until his return, or will I remain involved in my church, my community, my friends, my social groups?
Will I stop exploring and achieving? Or will I continue to search out new things, new ideas?
Will my relationship with God be on hold? Or will I continue to be a willing vessel?
Will my relationship with my husband be on hold? Or will we continue to communicate, growing and changing through this deployment?
I’m finding that I have a choice to make about this next year. I will either chose to survive or thrive.
Consider the definitions of these two words:
Survive: to endure or live through (an affliction, adversity, misery, etc.)
Thrive: to grow or develop vigorously; flourish
Which do you chose? Do you want to survive or thrive in the life God has given you?
The answer, for me, is easy. I want to thrive. I don’t want to just “endure” these coming months, I want to grow and develop and learn and change. I want to come out of the end of this deployment more in love with my God and my husband than ever.
Lord, please help me to thrive and grow in every situation. Help me to live out the words of Ephesians 4:15 which say, “Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ”(NIV). Help me to grow during this time of deployment and to believe that you are working for the good in this and every situation. As Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you’”(NIV). Help me to believe the truthfulness of these words, that you do have great things in store of me, even during this time of deployment. Help me to thrive in this and every situation in life.

Category: Ephesians, Jeremiah  Tags: ,  One Comment
19
Aug
Sufficient Grace
admin

I knew this day would come when I said “I do”  ten short months ago. Just the same, I’m dreading this first deployment. I’m wondering what I’ll do while he’s away. My whole life revolves around my husband. I take care of the house, run errands, and cook him his dinner each night. I look forward to the weekends when we can hike, and camp, and explore local touristy sights.
Since I heard about this deployment I’ve noticed something about myself. I depend on my husband a little too much. While it’s right that I should love him and honor him, the Lord always needs to be number one.
The Lord is telling me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT).
In other words, the Lord has been reminding me that he is enough. He works to the good of every circumstance. He feels the pain of the impending seperation and is not about to leave us or forsake us. He will be with us during our time apart. He will be our sustainer, if we allow him to.
He wants us to find joy in each and every situation. And, so, even though some of the fear is still there, I embrace his joy.  I cling like never before to the words of Habakkuk 3:18-19. Times may be tough. I’m sure I will be tremendously lonely, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.” (NLT).

Category: 2 Corinthians, Habakkuk  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment
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